The Dursleys Read: The Sorcerer's Stone (Book 1)
by Rainstar25
Summary: During 4th year, the Dursleys' normal world is shattered when seven books about Harry Potter showed up in a package. How will the Dursleys react to Harry's adventures in the magical world? This is a rewritten story of the original. It will have no text from the books. Let's see how it turns out.
1. The Package

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All rights and ownership goes to J.K. Rowling.**

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 **The Package**

In number four Privet Drive, the Dursleys, Vernon, Petunia, and their son Dudley, were all eating dinner in their spotless kitchen. Dudley's school ends earlier than Harry's and so they decided to celebrate Dudley's return by buying him presents and sweets before Harry gets back. However, this intention was all ruined when there was a knock (more banging than knocking) at the door. Petunia got up from the table wondering who could be visiting at a time like this.

She opened the door. Had she not covered her mouth, Petunia would have screamed. For there stood Vernon's sister, Marge holding a big package with her beloved pet bulldog, Ripper.

"Ah, Petunia," said Marge, balancing the package in her shovel-like hands. "Thought you'll never see me again, eh?"

Petunia didn't speak. She was too shocked. Vernon and Dudley came into the living room.

"Petunia," Vernon said, glancing at his wife. "Who's at the door…?" He trailed off; for he too was surprised to see his sister here in his house. The last time Marge visited she had been blown up like a balloon by Harry.

Marge came in with Ripper padding behind her.

"Well? Aren't you going to say hello?" Marge demanded. She took one look at Dudley and ran forward to hug and kiss him.

"How's my Dudders? Has he been a good boy?"

She pulled back, and in Dudley's hands were £20 notes. But he didn't notice the money. He was too busy gawking at his aunt.

"Aunt Marge," Dudley spluttered. "Why're you here?"

"Well, I thought I dropped by for another visit," boomed Marge.

The Dursleys looked at each other. She doesn't seem to remember what had happened on her last day here last year. That's because a bunch of _wizards_ had come and erased Marge's memories of her inflating and bopping around the ceiling.

"By the way, Marge," Petunia seemed to gotten over her surprise. "What's inside the box?"

"I don't know," Marge answered. "It was on my doorstep when I was leaving my house."

She put the box on the living room table. She then ripped open the package. The Dursleys all crammed to see what's inside, and were met by sheer disappointment. There were seven books. And to make matters worse, there were all about _that boy_.

"Who would make books about that dirty ungrateful boy?" Marge asked, looking disgustingly at the books.

Petunia picked up the books. Despite her hatred to the wizarding world, she was curious about Harry's world and what he was doing at _that school_. Dudley noticed a note at the bottom of the package. He picked it up and read it aloud:

 _Dear Dursley family,_

 _These are seven books concerning your "unwanted family member" that I've had sent you to read. By the time you've finished reading this note, time will freeze. When you have finished the books, time will resume to its normal state. By the way, you might as well tell Marge the truth about Harry and his parents. But you can choose not to. Hey, it's your choice. She'll find out very soon anyway. Oh, and you can't try to change anything after you read the books. A powerful force will prevent you from doing so. Happy reading!_

 _Anonymous_

Nobody had spoken when Dudley had finished. Vernon had gone to out to check if the note said about freezing time was true. And indeed it was. For everybody had stopped, frozen with time. Vernon came back looking white and ashen faced.

"It must be the works of those _freaks_ ," he said outraged.

"What about the boy and his no good parents?" Marge demanded, looking at her brother suspiciously. "Vernon, Petunia, is there something you're hiding from me?"

Petunia sighed. "Let's just read them. The only way to unfreeze time is to finish reading those books. And Marge, you'll need to listen to the story because everything in the books is all true."

And with that she picked up the first book, The Sorcerer's Stone, turned to the first chapter and began to read.


	2. The Boy Who Lived

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All rights and ownership goes to J.K. Rowling.**

 **Chapter 1: The Boy Who Lived**

"That's right," Vernon said. "We're a perfectly normal family."

"Right, Vernon," Marge agreed. "Not like those good-for-nothing drunks."

Petunia rolled her eyes. Marge is such a hypocrite, she thought as she continued to read.

Vernon nodded at this. The Dursleys prided themselves on not getting involved in any mysterious things. They're too unnatural for ordinary folk like them.

Dudley, even though he loved his life, thought it a bit boring.

Marge looked proudly at her brother, who looked smug. Grunnings was one of the best drill-making companies in the world. Who wouldn't be proud of working there?

"Yes, my Dinky Duddydums is such an angel," Petunia looked at her son lovingly.

"Mum..." Dudley blushed. Why did she keep calling him those baby names? He was fourteen, for God's sake!

Marge couldn't blame them. Who would want anyone to find out about _them_?

Marge looked at Petunia sympathetically. "I don't blame you, Petunia. I wouldn't want _her_ as a sister either."

"Yes," Petunia muttered. But she didn't really mean it.

Too late now _,_ Vernon thought sadly. That Potter brat had done enough damage on his family with his abnormality.

So it's _that_ day, Petunia thought miserably. This was the day Lily had died.

Dudley, Marge, and even Ripper looked confused. Why's there an owl out in the day?

Ripper, who was down on his belly, suddenly jumped up, a cat reading a map? Did Petunia read the book right? He looked at Marge and Dudley to see if they understood. Apparently they didn't, as they both had a puzzled look on their faces.

Ripper whined. Oh, how he longed to chase that cat up a tree, just like he did to Harry!

Marge snorted. "Really, people actually came up with those getups? How pathetic!"

Vernon, Petunia, and Dudley looked at each other. Just imaging Marge's reaction to the truth made them shudder. Even Ripper sensed something bad was going to happen.

Marge nodded her head. "Right you are, Vernon. Young people these days don't have any fashion sense at all!"

"Well, of course I'm right!"

You mean _wizards_ don't have any fashion sense, Petunia wanted to say, but wisely kept her mouth shut.

Dudley narrowed his piggy eyes. He knew what those people were, but what were they whispering about? He wanted to find out.

Dudley looked at his father in amazement. Dad has a one track mind, he thought.

"Those damn owls," Vernon growled. "And damn those freaks too!"

"Damn who?" Marge asked.

Instead of answering, he said, "Petunia, keep reading."

Vernon had suddenly remembered what happened next, for he had a disgusted look on his face.

"What are they whispering about?" Dudley demanded looking at his mother.

"Well, if you let me finish reading, dear," Petunia said. "You'll find out."

"Oh," Dudley looked a little embarrassed. "Keep reading, then"

"Why would _anyone_ want to talk about those no-good, lazy scoundrels?" Marge laughed nastily.

"You'll know if you stop interrupting," Petunia said through gritted teeth. Oh, how she hated Marge.

Marge looked like she'd wanted to protest but she shrugged it off.

Petunia looked at Vernon. _Why didn't he tell me?_

As though Vernon had read her mind, he shrugged helplessly.

Petunia sighed and continued reading.

"Those names are worse than Harry's," Petunia shuddered. Who would name their child Harvey or Harold?

Marge narrowed her eyes. She couldn't make any sense of the connection between _her_ and those people in cloaks.

"If I had done that, I wouldn't even apologize," Marge huffed.

Petunia shook her head and kept reading.

"Who's this "You-Know-Who" guy?" Vernon grunted disdainfully.

"What's a Muggle?" Dudley asked.

"Non-magical folks like us," Petunia whispered in his ear. However, she didn't answer Vernon, because she, herself, didn't really know a lot about the wizard. She knew he was evil and that was it.

Marge shook her head. "What the hell is going on?"

I've been hugged by a wizard, Vernon thought angrily.

Ripper wondered how the old man managed to get his arms around Vernon. He was… _big_ after all.

"I don't approve of that nonsense either," Marge agreed.

And that's why it's so boring here, Dudley thought rolling his eyes.

Seriously, what was that cat doing? Ripper thought.

No, Ripper thought. He knew normal cat behavior when he saw one and this wasn't one of them.

Petunia glared at Vernon. They could had found a way to not take care of Harry if her husband had told her. Said husband shrunk into the armchair he was sitting in.

"Oh, no…" Vernon groaned. He remembered what happened on the news, even to this day.

"Those effin owls!" Vernon growled.

Marge had known there were shooting stars on that day. She saw it on the news. She had been shocked for a few minutes then dismissed it as a meteor shower.

Dudley looked shocked. Wizards can make shooting stars? Now that's cool!

"I really doubt that," Marge said coldly. "I feel very sorry for you, Petunia, for having a sister like that."

"Thanks," Petunia said trying to keep the anger out of her voice. How could Marge judge a person without even knowing or seen them? No, she was being a hypocrite. She had judged people all her life. Petunia looked down at the books on the table. Maybe they'll help her get over her jealousy and bitterness.

"Ah, so she's in some gang, then, eh?" said Marge icily. "I'm not surprised."

"Dudley is a better name," Petunia said looking at her son fondly.

"It's better than those pet names," Dudley muttered under his breath.

Ripper shook his head. There was something weird about that cat…

"A pair of freaks!" Vernon yelled finishing the sentence.

"So, there are more people like _them_ out there?" Marge asked, glancing at Petunia.

Instead of her answering, Dudley did it for her, well if you can call it an answer, "Well, I guess you can say that, Aunt Marge."

Vernon sighed. He wished he were right about that.

Ripper knew that cat no was ordinary cat, for no cat can sit like that all day.

"What's up with that cat?" Dudley asked curiously.

"I don't know sweetie," Petunia replied. "Maybe we'll find out."

Maybe the cat was waiting for him, Ripper thought. In a few sentences, he will be proven right.

"Great, another weirdo," Marge rolled her eyes. "That's just what we needed."

"He's been in a fight or something?" Dudley asked stupidly.

Petunia shrugged and read on.

"What should he have known?" Dudley asked. Of course he wasn't expecting an answer.

Petunia looked bewildered. She never thought Dumbledore was a smoker.

"WHAT KIND OF FREAK MAGIC IS THAT!?" Vernon cried. He was outraged that magic was done near his home.

"Wait," Marge said looking at the Dursleys with wide eyes. "What do you mean by magic?"

Petunia sighed. "Look, Marge. There's something we've been hiding from you for years." She paused uneasily. "You see, Albus Dumbledore is a… _wizard_."

"Wizard?"

"Yes, Marge. Wizards and witches exist in the world. In the wizarding world, that is. My sister, Lily, was a witch. Her husband was a wizard and their son is also a wizard. They are, or Lily's and James's case _were_ magical.

"But...," Marge stuttered. "There's no such thing as magic! And there's no way _that boy_ is a wizard!"

"You could deny the truth all you want, Marge," Petunia said in a surprisingly cold voice. "But face it; the evidence is right in your face."

Marge looked dumbfounded. While Dudley, Vernon, and even Ripper stared at Petunia in shock, she let out a deep breath and continued reading.

Petunia gasped. She was not beady-eyed!

"He's talking to that cat?" Vernon asked slowly.

"Professor McGonagall?" Dudley asked confused.

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Marge yelled. She didn't actually believe Petunia when she said there were wizards and witches in the world. But now…

"Wait a minute," Dudley raised a beefy hand. "Those people can turn into animals?" He didn't want to admit it, but he thought it was pretty cool to shape shift into animals.

Petunia sniffed disdainfully. Turning into animals? How disgusting!

"No one asked her to!" Vernon bellowed. He was angry that freaks were spying on him and his family.

"Why are they celebrating?" Dudley asked.

"I don't know," Marge said coolly. "And I don't care."

Vernon and Petunia glanced out each other nervously. Stuff like those can't be on their news. If it gets out that they were connected with the freaks, it'll ruin them.

"Eleven years of what?" Dudley asked impatiently.

It was clear to Petunia that this Professor McGonagall person didn't believe the rumors until Dumbledore says it's true.

"Why would anyone eat those?" Marge groaned. She hated lemon drops.

"What's a Muggle?" Vernon asked.

Dudley answered, "Non-magical people."

"Cowards," Vernon said disdainfully. "Too scared to say a name."

"Right, Vernon," Marge agreed. "What kind of name is 'Voldemort' anyway?"

Dudley couldn't help but chuckle. Too much information Dumbledore, he thought.

Dudley frowned. He'd never asked Harry how Voldemort survived. He never asked him how his parents had died. Why should he care? But a tiny part of Dudley did.

"And good riddance," Marge huffed.

Petunia stifled a sop. She missed her little sister. Lily was too young to die.

Dudley felt a tiny wave of shame. He had always teased Harry about having no parents. And now he knew why. He shook his head impatiently. Why did he even care? It's not as if he cared about the weakling or his parents.

Ripper had always wondered why the boy was living with the Dursleys. He had heard Marge talking about them being drunks who got themselves killed in a car crash. Now he knew differently.

"Why do _they_ care so much for _them_?" Marge glared at the book in Petunia's hands. "They got what they deserved!"

Vernon silently agreed. He didn't care how or why they died. They were freaks anyway.

"It would have been better if he was killed." Marge had an evil gleam in her eyes.

Petunia, Dudley, and even Ripper wanted to know how Harry survived as well. Vernon looked bored and Marge yawned.

Dudley looked down at his own watch. It was golden, but it didn't have the little planet things on it. He tried to image what it was like having a watch like that, showing it off to kids at his school.

"Well, what do you know," Petunia rolled her eyes. "The freaks have abnormal watches. Why am I not surprised?"

Dudley frowned. Hagrid…why did that name sounded familiar?

" _Family_ ," Vernon looked disgusted. "We're not _his_ family."

Dudley blushed. He didn't remember kicking his mother, screaming at her. But Dudley do scream at his parents whenever he wanted something.

For the first time in her life, Petunia agreed with the witch. The letter didn't help much.

"He's famous," Marge asked greedily. Maybe he had money somewhere…Vernon was thinking the same thing.

Petunia had to admit, Dumbledore had a point. She remembered when Lily had introduced James to her parents. James had that arrogant gleam in his eyes.

That name, Dudley thought. It was so familiar to him, yet he didn't remember who this Hagrid guy was.

Marge, Ripper, and the Dursleys all shared a surprised look. A flying motorcycle? It couldn't be! Dudley wondered what it'll be like to own a flying motorcycle.

Dudley shuddered. Now he remembered who Hagrid was. He was the man who gave him a pig's tail! Ripper's eyes were wide. And he thought Vernon was the biggest man he'd ever seen!

Petunia gave a little gasp. Just how gruesomely did Voldemort killed the Potters? She didn't want to know.

"So, that's how the boy got that ugly scar," said Marge, looking uninterested.

"Too much information again," Dudley muttered. However, he wondered how Dumbledore had gotten that scar.

"Filthy beast," Vernon growled, remembering the giant who cursed his son with a pig's tail.

"That's trespassing!" Marge cried angrily. "We should have him arrested and sentenced to death!"

"Marge, Dumbledore's a _wizard_ ," Petunia said slowly. "He can easily get out with _magic_."

Marge looked disappointed.

So, that's how Harry got into the Dursleys' household, Ripper thought.

"I want a flying motorcycle!" Dudley cried excitedly.

Petunia gave her son a look of disapproval, but Dudley didn't notice. Vernon and Petunia gave each other worried looks.

"Why does that dirty boy need luck?" Marge asked, narrowing her eyes. "All he brings here is bad luck."

Petunia shook her head. That was the most surprising thing in her life, finding baby Harry on her doorstep.

"That's the end of the chapter," Petunia said closing the book. "Who wants to read next?"

"Don't ask me to read," Marge sniffed. "I'm not going to read about that disgraceful swine and his freaky world."

"I will," Dudley grabbed the book from Petunia, opened it to chapter two and began to read.


	3. The Vanishing Glass

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. They all belong to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2: The Vanishing Glass**

"That's just the way we liked it," Vernon said, looking proud. That was one of many reasons why he loved Privet Drive; there was nothing unusual about it.

"That's right, dear." Petunia agreed.

Dudley shrugged. He didn't really mind Privet Drive, but it did need a few changes every now and then.

Dudley groaned. Why did his parents made him wear the stupid bonnets, he didn't know.

Dudley sighed. Those were all fun back then, but now it just got…boring.

"You're lives were perfect," Marge said sadly. "Until that boy came along and ruined everything."

"I do not screech!" Petunia said angrily.

"Of course, you don't dear," Vernon said, patting Petunia's hand.

"He remembers that?" Dudley asked his eyes wide. He was secretly impressed. He remembered when Harry mentioned dreaming of a flying motorcycle. I guess he wasn't lying, Dudley thought.

Petunia frowned. How did he remember that event? He was only a baby when it happened.

"Happy birthday, Dudley," Marge smiled at her nephew.

"Aunt Marge, this happened three years ago," Dudley said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh."

Petunia shuddered. Maybe they went a little too far in squashing the magic out of Harry…

"Good," Marge huffed. "I would have him in the cupboard as well. No, better yet, have him in the orphanage."

Ripper knew the Dursleys' hated Harry and he, himself, disliked him (he didn't _hate_ Harry, he just didn't like him) but really! Putting him in the cupboard was a little too much.

"My baby's not fat," Petunia cried. "He's just big boned!"

She jumped up from the sofa and hugged Dudley.

"Mum, please," Dudley turned red. "Let me finish reading."

"Oh, sorry, dear."

"And Dudley could kick the boy's sissy little arse any day," Marge cried proudly.

For some reason, Dudley really doubted that.

"Ugly little boy," Vernon sneered.

Ripper wondered if any of the Dursleys looked in the mirror recently. They weren't the best-looking people out there. Especially Vernon and Marge.

Ripper shook his head. Isn't asking questions something kids were supposed to do?

Petunia shook her head, dismayed. If she can't tame Potter's hair, nobody can.

"That disgraceful swine!" Vernon growled his face turning red. "How dare he insult Dudley!"

"He's just jealous because our Dudders is better than him," Marge barked.

Just you wait, Harry, Dudley thought angrily, you'll wish you were never born!

Dudley was silent. Was he really that much of a spoiled brat?

"What's wrong Dudley?" Petunia asked, looking at her son worryingly.

"Nothing, Mum," he answered. "I'm fine." He read on.

Dudley looked dismayed. Good Lord, couldn't he even count?

Marge looked proudly at Dudley. "Just you wait," she said. "You'll be as successful as your father someday." Unlike that other boy and his parents, she thought meanly.

Dudley smiled. "Thanks."

"Mrs. Figg?" Marge asked. "Who's she?"

"She's that old cat lady who lives two streets away from us," Vernon answered.

Marge wrinkled her nose. "Cats?" she asked, instantly disliking Mrs. Figg. She hated cats.

"Mrs. Figg has a lot of cats," Dudley replied. "Some of them look really weird." He had seen some of the cats Mrs. Figg had. They didn't like the Dursleys as they often hiss at them.

Ripper barked happily. Maybe he could chase them when time unfreezes.

Well, at least she's torturing Harry with her cats, Marge thought grudgingly.

"Cabbage," Dudley shuddered. "I hate cabbage."

"Damn right, I do." Marge snarled. That boy was a disgrace to humanity.

"Hey, he can't do that!" Dudley cried. "He'll break them using his freaky magic,"

"And if he did, I'll lock him in that cupboard for months," Vernon said nastily.

Petunia shook her head. "He never did it because he went with us to the zoo, remember?"

"Oh, that's right."

Ripper felt sorry for Harry. And they treated _him_ better than that.

Petunia gave Dudley a look. "Is this true, popkin?"

Dudley looked down ashamed. "Well…yes…" He didn't know what to say. He'd never been scolded before.

"Come now, Petunia," Marge said, looking fondly at Dudley. "He's a growing boy. He has needs."

Petunia sighed. Maybe she and Vernon had spoiled him too much.

Dudley winced slightly. Why his mother had to come up with pet names, he would never know.

Petunia narrowed her eyes. She'll have to call Piers's mother when this was all over.

"Too bad I'd never done it," Vernon sighed, disappointedly. Maybe the boy wouldn't had gotten his blasted letters if Vernon had locked him in the cupboard.

Dudley snorted. He still had that memory in his head; the hair incident was one of his favorite memories.

"So, he's already doing magic, eh?" Marge asked, with raised eyebrows.

"Not exactly," Petunia said uneasily. "He's been doing accidental magic."

"Accidental magic?"

"That's what the mutants call it. Wizarding children can't control their magic and it pops up every once in a while." Petunia had learned all this from Lily.

Ripper looked up at her suspiciously. It seems like Petunia knew more than she lent on.

Dudley smiled. He hated that stupid sweater. He'd had to thank Harry someday. Dudley's eyes widen. What was he thinking? Thanking that spineless git? Never!

Sure that happened, Ripper thought, rolling his eyes. The wind always pick people up where ever they go.

"I wish that were true," Vernon muttered. Of course, everything can go wrong when Potter is around.

Dudley shook his head. Harry's such an idiot.

"Of course, he would," Marge huffed. "He's a criminal just like his parents."

You just found out Lily and James was killed by an evil murderer and you still say they were criminals, Petunia thought angrily. Of course, she was being a hypocrite, but still.

Dudley glared at the book. _You better sleep with one eye open as soon as you get back Harry…_

"Why did you give it to him?" Marge asked, looking at Vernon. "I'd would have thrown that in the garbage."

Vernon shrugged. He didn't know why either.

Petunia felt goosebumps on her arms. She shivered. She was afraid of snakes.

Ripper gave a silent whimper. He wasn't a big fan of snakes.

Dudley sighed. He didn't know what he'd expected the snake to do once it had woken up. Maybe hiss a little?

"How pathetic, comparing his life to a snake's," Vernon rolled his eyes. "It's not as if he could talk to the thing, anyway."

"Wait, snakes can't wink!" Petunia cried in a shaky voice.

Dudley looked interested. Maybe Harry really can talk to snakes like Dad said…?

Petunia's eyes seemed like they would pop out at any moment. She was too shocked to speak. Ripper looked a little frightened. Vernon and Dudley's mouths were wide open.

Marge wrinkled her nose. "That boy can talk to snakes? That's disgusting!"

Once everybody had their composure, Dudley continued to read.

Dudley looked awe. Talking to snakes? Wicked!

Dudley frowned. So Piers _had_ seen Harry talking to the snake. It was pretty lucky he dismissed it as a trick. It would have been awkward if Piers had realized Harry was _really_ talking to it.

"I didn't waddle! I ran!"

Ripper doubted that.

"That boy," Vernon growled. "When I get my hands on him, he'll wish he was dead!"

Petunia whimpered. The snake could have attacked her Dudley. Thank heavens that didn't happen.

"Well, damn," Dudley muttered. He'd had forgotten Piers had said that. But then he remembered Piers saying he'd only said that to get Harry into trouble. Dudley signed in relief. At least, Piers doesn't know about his cousin's freaky powers.

"That stupid boy!" Vernon yelled, outraged. "I told him to stay in his cupboard with no meals and he goes and steals _our_ food!"

For some reason, Ripper had the strange urged to bite Vernon. He felt really bad for Harry. He had seen Aunt Marge neglect her other bulldogs…and it was not pretty.

Dudley felt something weird pulling at his heart. He couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Harry. Maybe he should've stood up for his cousin. Dudley shook his head irritably. Nonsense! He shouldn't have talked to the snake. Harry deserved it.

Petunia looked ashamed. Maybe they really have gone too far…she sighed.

Marge laughed gleefully. That's what that boy get for being a burden to the beloved Dursley family! If she'd had Harry, she would have done much worse than that (which would never happen since she'll put that rotten boy in the orphanage).

Petunia gave a gasp of horror. "He remembers that?" she whispered. That's horrible!

Actually there is, Petunia thought. The photographs were all hidden in her secret box in her and Vernon's room.

"Weirdos," Marge snorted. "They're worshipping the boy like some kind of hero. He didn't do anything heroic and he never will!"

"Well, he did destroy an evil… _wizard_ , Marge," Petunia said.

"But he didn't do anything! The bad thing about that is the damn man couldn't kill the boy."

Petunia glared at Marge and turned to Dudley. "Keep reading."

"The chapter's almost over," Dudley replied.

"Good," Marge said looking proudly at her nephew. "The freak doesn't deserve any friends. Who would want to be friends with _him_ is beyond me."

"Thanks, I guess." Dudley gave a small smile.

Vernon ruffled Dudley's hair. "I agree with Marge," he said. "Only those freaks would befriend him."

"So, who's going to read the next chapter?" Petunia asked, changing the subject. "Vernon? Do you want to read? Dudley and I already read it."

"Oh, alright then," Vernon answered grudgingly. "I'll read the bloody thing."

He took the book from Dudley, turned to the chapter three, and started reading.


	4. The Letters From No One

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The characters and books belong to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

 **Chapter 3: The Letters From No One**

Marge chuckled darkly. She would have loved to see that. Though, it would have been better if Dudley had run over one of her cats.

Petunia sent Dudley a look of disapproval, and he put his head down in shame.

Ripper wondered how the Dursleys came up with an excuse for Harry's absence from school. Probably told the teachers he was sick.

Dudley grinned. That game was always fun, seeing Harry cower in fear in front of him and his friends.

Vernon looked proudly at his son. "You know, Dudley, your Aunt Marge had gone to Smeltings herself. Isn't that right, Marge?"

"Yes," Marge said wistfully. "I used go to Smeltings with your father, Dudley." She sighed. "Those were the good times."

"Oh," Dudley replied. "That's great." However, Dudley didn't care about Marge's school life.

"That naughty boy," Petunia surprisingly said. "He insulted my Duddykins!"

Dudley frowned. He didn't know what Harry had meant when he said that. And now he knew. Maybe he could stuff Harry's head down the toilet when time resumes to its normal state.

Ripper snorted. Even he knew what Harry had meant!

"Coward," Marge sneered.

"Well, at least she's giving him stale cake," Vernon muttered. He didn't like Mrs. Figg or any of his neighbors.

Ripper shuddered. How bland! He was lucky Marge didn't make him wear any of those dog clothes.

"I'll break his ribs for him," Marge said evilly.

And that'll throw you in prison, Marge, Ripper thought.

He has Lily's cheek, Petunia thought sadly.

Dudley imaged that scene for a moment and burst of laughing.

"What's so funny?" Petunia asked bewildered.

"Harry wearing elephant skin," Dudley said, laughing.

Vernon had to wait until Dudley stopped laughing. When he did, Vernon continued to read.

Petunia's eyes widen. She remembered the chapter title, "The Letters From No One" . It was the day Harry had received over a thousand letters from that freakish school.

"Who'd be writing to _him_?" Marge asked, narrowing her eyes.

" _Them_ ," was all Petunia said.

"Why are they so painfully accurate?" Dudley asked with distaste.

"I don't know, sweetie," Petunia sighed heavily.

"They're freaks, that's why!" said Vernon nastily.

"What era are those wizards living in, the Middle Ages?" Marge joked. Who the hell uses parchment to write on?

Dudley wondered what the animals mean. Probably something stupid, he thought.

That was the worse joke I have ever heard, Ripper thought disdainfully.

Marge turned red. She knew she shouldn't have eaten that damn whelk.

"That's what I just asked a few minutes ago!" Marge cried.

Ripper stared at Vernon and Petunia in astonishment. Damn, he thought, all that drama for a letter? Talk about overreacting!

Dudley sighed. And this begins his father's madness...over a letter – no a _lot_ of letters.

There goes Lily's temper, Petunia thought.

"How dare that boy shout at me!" Vernon said furiously. "Why I should have locked him in the cupboard for weeks for that!"

"That unnatural boy deserved that," Marge agreed.

"Of course he won," Marge said, ruffling Dudley's hair. "My nephew is much stronger than that stick of a boy."

"I know, Aunt Marge," said Dudley, looking a little embarrassed.

Well they were spying on you guys in the first chapter, Vernon, Ripper thought. But following you? Come on, I'm sure even wizards and witches got better things to do than following boring people like yourselves.

Ripper had always wondered why the Dursleys treated Harry like crap. And now he knew. They tried to get rid of his magical powers! Ripper shook his head sadly. This family didn't know how to accept different people.

"Fat lot that did," Vernon growled. "I knew we should've sent that boy to the orphanage."

"But Vernon," Petunia said, trying to calm Vernon down. "If we did, then people will find out about his abnormalities and they'll figure out that we're related to him."

Vernon seemed to deflate a little. "Yes, Petunia, dear. You're right."

Is it just me, Dudley wondered, or is Harry standing up for himself?

Dudley growled. He was still pretty pissed about Harry having _his_ second bedroom. And it's entirely his cousin's fault!

"Which isn't much, I reckon," Marge said coolly.

Ripper looked alarmed. He glared at Dudley. How dare that fat whale of a boy run over a dog!

Vernon looked slightly annoyed. He knew Dudley wouldn't read those books, but Petunia had insisted on buying books for him.

Ripper had begun to hate the Dursleys more and more, especially Dudley. They were all selfish, greedy gits who need to go under a rock and die. He'd even started to hate Marge, his mistress!

Dudley cursed himself. "Why didn't I read the stupid thing in the hall?" he muttered to himself.

Really, Vernon? Petunia thought, with a sideways glance at him, was all that fighting for one mere letter?

"Yeah, like that'll work," Dudley said sarcastically.

"It didn't really end well, either," Petunia agreed, remembering the incident.

Ripper looked amused while Vernon growled angrily.

"Smart move, Vernon," Marge praised.

Vernon puffed up with pride.

"A fruitcake?" Dudley blinked and looked at his father in confusion. "How did you use a _fruitcake_ to knock in a nail?"

Instead of answering his son, Vernon kept reading.

That is the sign of madness, Ripper thought humorlessly, and you call Harry and his magical world abnormal freaks!

"I told you that wouldn't work!" Petunia snapped, glaring at Vernon.

Vernon glanced at Petunia nervously and looked down at the book in his hand and continued reading.

"That's what I like to know too," Marge huffed in annoyance.

"Those _things_ in Harry's world," Petunia answered icily.

What a stubborn, idiotic, foolish man, Ripper thought. Didn't he realize the postman isn't bringing Harry's letters? How could the postman do all the extraordinary things with the letters?

Dudley frowned. "Why didn't Harry just grab one of the letters off the floor?"

"He's as brainless as a flea," Marge answered, "just like his parents."

Vernon and Petunia looked at each other. They hoped the neighbors didn't see the strange letters inside their house.

Dudley sighed. It was the first and only time his father had hit him.

Ripper looked at Dudley dully. Of course, the boy thought he could fit all of his things in his sports bag. What an idiot, just like his walrus father.

Dudley shook his head. Now he knew how Harry felt when he wasn't allowed to do anything fun.

"Why were you driving half way across Britain?" Marge asked in puzzlement.

"To get away from those monstrous _wizards_ ," Vernon answered gruffly. "And I wasn't driving half way across Britain."

"Well, you were going to if you had to," Petunia put in.

Vernon simply shrugged.

Wondering about what? Ripper thought curiously.

"How those bastards managed to find you all the way in Cokeworth?" Marge asked stiffly.

"They're using their _magic_ , Marge," Petunia said, saying the world "magic" with a painful expression on her horsey face.

Yes, Dudley, Ripper thought simply. Daddy has gone mad over magical letters.

"Hmph," Marge huffed. "I wouldn't give him anything for his birthdays."

"Of course, now I know what's in that package," Petunia said, glaring so furiously at Vernon that if looks could kill, he would've drop dead by now.

Vernon gulped and, fearing his wife's wrath, read on before she did anything to him.

Petunia shuddered. What an ugly old man he was!

"Seriously, Vernon?" Petunia said rolling her eyes. "You really thought those will keep our stomachs full?"

"No," Vernon replied, "just until the wizards stopped hunting us down like bloodhounds."

"Well, that didn't happen at all!"

Vernon frowned. He loved making Harry as miserable as possible, but the boy actually agreeing with him….Vernon shuddered. He didn't like that at all. **.**

Ripper growled lowly. Harry was just a child, for heaven's sake! To treat him like that because he was different from the rest of the family was cruel.

"Well, with all that letter business and the driving, I highly doubt they'll remember," Marge said nastily.

Dudley sighed sadly. He felt a little sympathetic to Harry. He was his cousin after all. Dudley's hands collided to his head. What was wrong with him? Why did he suddenly care for Harry's well being?

The Dursleys (minus Marge) looked at each other darkly. When they had gotten back from the shack, all the letters had gone. They suspected the freaks had come into their house and had made the letters disappear. However, the Dursleys, being ignorant to strange and mysterious things like magic, had brushed it off.

"If he had done that, I'll punch him!" Dudley cried, swinging his fists.

"That's the end of the chapter," Vernon said, closing the book and putting it down on the table, "finally."

"Can we go to bed?" Dudley yawned. "I'm getting sleepy."

"Alright then," Petunia said, jumping to her feet. "Let's all take a good nap."

She looked in the window. It was still nighttime because of the time-freezing magic. She turned back to the family. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Dudley had turned off the lights and the family went to their rooms. With the exception of Marge and Vernon, they fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

 **A/N: Is this way all right for you guys? This is the only way to do this without copyright and being warned to take it down. I tried to add somethings so you'll know which part the Dursleys are reacting to.**


	5. The Keeper of the Keys

**Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Harry Potter. The characters and books belong to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

Dudley had awoken with a loud yawn. He glanced at the clock next to his bed. 8:30 P.M. It was still dark out there in the world. Dudley wondered how the wizards managed to freeze time. If they could do that and make shooting stars, they could do anything. Dudley had gotten out of bed, went downstairs, and to the living room. He looked at the other Harry Potter books on the table. Did Harry have awesome adventures at his school? What classes do they teach there? Dudley was curious about his cousin's strange world. The world he hated and feared. Suddenly, loud thumping noises had broken his thoughts. Petunia and Vernon was coming down the stairs.

"Dudley," Petunia asked, surprised to see her son awake. He was usually the one to wake up last. "Why're you here?"

"Oh, nothing," Dudley answered, "just looking at the books."

Petunia and Vernon looked at each other with worried looks. What if those books turn Dudley funny? They didn't want that to happen to their son, but what could they do? The family had already read three chapters of the first book. And to make matters worse, if they don't finish reading all the blasted books, time will remain frozen forever. Might as well continue reading.

"Well, then," Vernon said uneasily, "let's just eat some dinner – I mean breakfast – oh you know what I mean."

"Not without us," boomed a voice from behind. Marge came stomping down the stairs with Ripper behind her. "We've hadn't eaten since we left home." She turned to Ripper and cooed, "Isn't that right, Ripper?"

Ripper barked in reply.

After Petunia had cooked breakfast (eggs with bacon), they all sat down in the living room. The Sorcerer's Stone lay perfectly still on the table along with the other books of the series. For a moment, nobody moved. Then Dudley grabbed the book and handed it to Marge.

"Come on, Aunt Marge," Dudley urged her, "you're the only one who didn't read."

Marge sniffed. "You know I don't want to read about that filthy boy."

"Please, Aunt Marge, for me?"

Marge looked at Dudley and sighed. "Fine," she said, grabbing the book, "only for you."

She leafed to chapter four and started reading in a loud voice.

 **Chapter Four: The Keeper of the Keys**

Petunia gave a sharp glare to her husband. Bringing a gun with two children around was a horrible idea, regardless of the situation. Vernon shifted uncomfortably.

"Petunia, dear," he said fearfully, "I was just doing what I could to get rid of those people."

Petunia opened her mouth to say something, but Marge had continued reading.

Hey,Ripper thought in astonishment, Hagrid the giant is back!

"Well, look whose back," Marge said, rolling her eyes. "That hideous man is here in this chapter."

"Oh yeah, we're sure going to give you tea after you broke the door down," Dudley said sarcastically. However, he couldn't help being amused by Hagrid's entrance.

And you called the wizards cowards, Ripper thought, sneering.

Petunia gave a sad sigh. Those were her little sister's eyes. Lily...

Ripper had begun to like Hagrid. Calling Vernon a "great prune" was both satisfying and funny.

"That ugly beast!" yelled Vernon. "How dare that thing insult me!"

Whoa, Dudley thought in awe, he must be really strong to bend a _gun_.

Ripper smiled. It's about time Harry had gotten something for his birthday. He turned to Dudley with hatred in his eyes, instead of that greedy mama's boy.

"That boy has no manners whatsoever," Marge said coldly. "Unlike my nephy poo,"

Dudley flushed with embarrassment. First his mother and now his aunt? Didn't they know it's humiliating to call a teenaged boy baby names?

He must have used some type of fire magic, Ripper thought knowingly.

"How can he carry all that stuff in his pockets?" Petunia asked curiously.

"Freakish magic," Vernon answered, with a disgusted look on his large face.

Dudley growled, "I'm not fat! I'm just big boned, that's all!" _Though I'd love to have some pudding right now,_ Dudley added to himself.

"He doesn't know a damn thing!" Marge barked. "He's just an idiot boy with no family or friends!"

Ripper wisely kept his mouth shut. If he didn't, he would have bitten Marge on the leg.

The Dursleys are in trouble now, Ripper thought happily. They've going to get what they deserved!

Petunia shuddered. That was one of the worse moments of her life, getting yelled at by a giant wizard who could do magic.

The Dursleys laughed at what Harry said.

"I told you that boy's an idiot," Marge said, chortling.

"Come now, Marge," Petunia said. "The boy was only eleven at the time."

Everyone stopped laughing and turned to Petunia in shock. She, herself, gasped. Did she just unknowingly defend Harry? There was an awkward pause in the room.

Vernon broke the silence. "Marge, why don't you keep reading?"

Without saying anything, Marge obliged.

Famous for all the wrong reasons, Dudley found himself thinking. There I go again, he thought angrily, I'm defending Harry in my thoughts. Why does this keep happening?

He's got guts, I'll give him that, Ripper admitted to himself.

Now you're just trying to defend yourself, you pathetic creature, Ripper thought, glaring at the book in Marge's hands.

Vernon sighed heavily. Petunia was right, what was the point of bringing them all the way to the middle of a sea, just so a wizard could bust in and tell the boy the truth?

"Witchcraft and wizardry," Marge scoffed. "What a load of dung."

"Really?" Dudley asked surprised, "He just found out he's a wizard and he asked that question?" Dudley shook his head. He really didn't get his cousin.

"How in the world did the owl gett in his pocket?" Petunia asked, bewildered. This time, Vernon didn't answer her.

I bet it's normal for wizards, Dudley thought.

"You know, I'm surprised Harry didn't figure that out when he was eavesdropping on us," Petunia wondered aloud.

Vernon shrugged. He didn't really care about that. He was still upset that they've failed in stamping out the magic in the boy.

"Like I said before," Marge replied. "He's an idiot."

Ripper looked at Petunia with pity in his eyes. He knew those were words of jealousy. He didn't know what he felt towards her, but it was definitely sympathy.

Petunia let out a choked sob. She really did love her sister and missed her dearly, but her jealousy had blinded her. She had wanted to apologize to Lily, but she was too proud to admit she was wrong. And now it was too late; Lily's dead and she never gotten to say goodbye to her.

I knew you were jealous, Ripper thought growling, but damn, you didn't have to say that to him.

Petunia frowned. Maybe she had gone a little overboard….

"Harry's not going to like this…" Dudley muttered under his breath.

Dudley frowned. He wanted to know how Harry survived. Ah, well. At least he'll know half of Harry's tragic past.

This wizard must be really scary to strike fear into the hearts of the magical world, Ripper thought.

"They were in a war or something?" Dudley asked curiously.

"Yes," Petunia answered surprisingly. "For eleven years."

"Why should I care?" Marge asked coldly. "It's _their_ war. It's _their_ problem. Not ours."

"I agree," Vernon said. "Whatever happens in that crazy world means nothing to us normal people!"

Ripper rolled his eyes.

"Blimey…," Dudley couldn't help but say. He felt a little sympathy toward the wizarding world. Those wizards and witches have been through a lot of trouble.

Oh my, Ripper thought sadly, those poor people.

Petunia gasped in horror. He remembered that… _monster's_ laugh?

You sick son of a bitch, Ripper thought in outrage. That's disrespecting the dead!

Marge growled, "They've got what they deserved, hanging out with those freakish magical people."

I hate you, Ripper thought, looking at his mistress in disgust. I really do.

"No one knows where the bad wizard went," Dudley said mysteriously.

Go Harry!Ripper thought happily. He didn't know why he was cheering for Harry. Maybe it was because he had started to like the boy.

"Because he's not strong like me!" Dudley cried proudly. "He's just weak!"

"Quite right, Dudley," Vernon beamed at his son.

Well, you didn't exactly set a snake on Dudley, Harry, Ripper thought, matter of fact.

Dudley narrowed his eyes. He'll somehow get back at Harry for that.

Uh- oh, Ripper thought eagerly. You're in trouble now, Vernon!

"You've gone too far, Vernon," Petunia said, remembering what happened next.

"Perhaps, I did," Vernon replied nervously.

"That's what Petunia said," Marge stated.

Dudley clasped his hands on his bottom and whimpered. Petunia jumped up from her seat, ran towards Dudley, and hugged him, whispering comforting words into his ear. Vernon turned a shade of purple and Marge stared at the book in shock and anger. Ripper barked. To the Dursleys, it looked like he was barking in anger, but it was really of laughter.

"How dare that giant, freakish, monster give my poor Dudder's a pig's tail!" Marge yelled, furiously. "When I get my hands on him, I'll –"

"Just keep reading, Marge," Petunia interrupted quietly.

Marge glared at her for a second before continuing to read.

Vernon was gripping the armchair so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"Ha!" Marge cried triumphantly, "I bet my money that that bastard deserved it!"

Dudley cocked his head. Despite that pig's tail incident, he was curious to know why Hagrid was expelled. Maybe he did something really horrible...

"Ugh, dormice?" Vernon groaned. "What sane person would keep dormice in their pockets?"

"That's the end of the chapter," Marge said, closing the book. "Finally, I'm done reading this damn thing. Who wants to read?"

"I will," Petunia volunteered. She grabbed the book, leafed to chapter five, and started reading.


	6. Diagon Alley

**Disclaimer: How many times do I have to say this? I do not own Harry Potter. All belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

 **Chapter Five: Diagon Alley**

"I wish it were a dream," Petunia said sadly.

"Don't we all?" Vernon asked.

He's so pessimistic, Dudley thought, shaking his head.

"I'll love to pop that balloon," said Marge gleefully.

"What does that owl want with the giant's coat?" Dudley asked curiously.

"I don't know, sweetie." Petunia replied shrugging.

"Oh," said Dudley chuckling. He shouldn't have interrupt his mother's reading when his question was answered in just a few sentences.

"Knuts?" Marge asked, turning to Petunia for an answer.

"Wizard money," Petunia answered dully.

"Oh that's right," Marge said cheerfully. "The boy's parents didn't have any… _wizard money_ when they were alive. They were poor, unemployed freaks who got themselves killed."

Ripper was getting tired of Marge's consent insults about Harry's parents. He wanted to bite her leg off, but he held back because the Dursleys would probably kill him.

"Wait," Vernon raised a hand. "Did he just say 'gold'?"

"Yes," replied Petunia faintly. Lily never told her how rich she and James were. And it was probably for a good reason.

Dudley frowned. He wondered how well off Harry is. He looked at Marge to see what she thinks of this. Apparently, Marge was thinking about stealing Harry's gold for she had a greedy expression on her face.

Petunia narrowed her eyes. She had seen those goblins when she and her parents went with Lily to Diagon Alley to buy her school things. Bloodthirsty creatures, they were.

Ripper whined. Goblins? He didn't like the sound of them.

"Goblins…" Dudley had an expression of wonder and disgust on his round, pinkish face. If goblins were real, then maybe all those magical creatures from those stupid fantasy television shows like dragons and fairies were real too. Dudley couldn't help but smile. Now, that would be pretty cool.

Ripper wondered what kind of business Hagrid was in.

Dudley tried to imagine Hagrid flying on a broomstick but failed. Hagrid was too large to fly on one. Dudley shrugged. Maybe Hagrid used magic to fly without the use of a broom.

"He's not supposed to use magic!" Marge cried, pointing at the book accusingly. "He should be punished!"

Vernon nodded with a nasty smile, thinking about the death penalty. Do those things even have the death penalty? Vernon hoped they do.

Marge looked curiously at Petunia and Vernon. "How did you made it home when they took the boat?"

"That old man saw us stranded on that godforsaken hut and had to get us by another boat," Vernon grunted. "And that bastard charged us extra money!"

"God," Dudley said softly. "There must be very variable things under there to have such high security."

So the magical world have their own government, Ripper thought, like Muggles do.

"With Hagrid that big, it's no surprise people stared at him," Dudley said, rolling his eyes.

"Especially, if he keeps doing that," Petunia added.

"That foolish oaf wants a _dragon_ ," Vernon said, with wide eyes. "He's mad!"

"Dragons are real?" Marge asked, turning pale.

Ripper wondered how Hagrid got his hands on Muggle money.

Do they really need all _that?_ Ripper wondered in astonishment.

"The freaks need all those junk," Petunia said in distaste. "What a waste!"

"Load of rubbish," huffed Marge.

"I couldn't agree more, Marge," Vernon said, looking at the book disdainfully.

"Wow," Dudley blurted out, "those things sound so cool!"

Petunia, Vernon, and Marge gave Dudley a look of utter disapprova,l but he ignored them. They shared a look of concern at each other. These books will turn their precious boy funny and it'll be the wizards fault.

"We manage just fine, thank you very much!" Petunia huffed.

No Harry, Ripper thought in amusement, the Dursleys have no sense of humor or imagination. So they couldn't pull a joke even if they tried.

"Only wizards and witches could see it," Petunia said, without thinking. When Dudley, Vernon, Marge, and even Ripper looked at her curiously, she said, " _She_ told me."

" _That's_ where wizards do their shopping?" Vernon sneered. "What a dreadful place."

Petunia frowned at this, but didn't comment.

Dudley snorted at the image. A toothless walnut, indeed!

"Why are they making it such a big deal?" Marge asked in distaste, "the boy just came and they're already making such a fuss!"

"He's famous," Petunia answered simply.

So that's what it's like to be famous, Dudley thought, smiling. He always wanted to be famous, to be the center of attention. Of course, there were his parents and his aunt, but even that wasn't enough.

"Attention-seeking git," growled Vernon.

He was also mentioned in the first chapter, Ripper thought.

"That _wizard_ was in the shop?" cried Petunia in fright. She realized how close she was to meeting a freak in her perfectly normal world...

"Oh, these people really need to get a grip!" Marge said, rolling her eyes.

"He has a stuttering problem," Petunia frowned.

Ripper growled. He didn't know why, but he didn't trust this wizard. There was something strange about the man that Ripper didn't like.

"If he's afraid of his own subject, then why the hell is he teaching it?" Vernon asked, annoyed at the strange logic.

A wizard who's afraid of the magic he's teaching, Ripper thought, all the more reason not to trust him.

"Did he just say vampires?" Dudley questioned nervously.

"Yes, he did," Petunia said, turning a little pale. Vampires living in wizarding world, where they could attack Muggles and wizards alike? Petunia shivered at the terrifying thought.

"Those creatures actually exist in their world?" Marge asked faintly.

"I think so," Dudley said, with a slight quiver in his voice. He couldn't blame that stuttering wizard for being scared all the time. What if he met a vampire or a hag? He didn't want to know.

"What's that giant fool doing?" said Marge, with raised eyebrows.

He's opening up the passage way to Diagon Alley, Petunia wanted to say, but kept her mouth shut.

Vernon and Marge's jaws both dropped while Dudley looked amazed. Even Petunia, who had seen this being done many years ago, looked in awe at the book.

Harry's parents should have taken him there, Ripper thought sadly.

"Why do they have collapsible cauldrons?" Dudley asked confused.

"I have no idea." Petunia said, shrugging.

"Dragon liver," Vernon said, turning a bit green. "How did they manage to get liver from a dragon?"

Nobody answered him.

For the first time in his life, Dudley wished he was there in Diagon Alley. All the things that were in the place sound really amazing. He wondered if he could ask Harry to take him there someday. Maybe magical people aren't so different from non-magical people…Dudley shook his head angrily. Nonsense! Magical people are weird, abnormal freaks and he certainly didn't want to be one of _them_.

Petunia wished she'd had all that stuff that was mentioned, but unfortunately for her, she wasn't a _witch_.

"Midget," said Marge, chuckling.

Creepy poem, Ripper thought, shuddering slightly.

"I like the poem," Dudley smiled, "it's so creepy."

"Well, I don't," Petunia said, shivering.

"I'd like to see someone try," Marge said eagerly, "just to see them fail and get killed."

"Who would ever try to rob Gringotts?" Vernon asked. "I know there's treasures down there, but why go through the dangers of robbing it? You'll just die down there."

I can't believe I'm agreeing with Vernon, Ripper thought in astonishment.

Petunia wrinkled her nose. She didn't want to know what Hagrid's got in his pockets.

"Rubies?" said Marge greedily, "how rich are these wizards?"

"What's the You-Know-What in vault seven hundred and thirteen?" Dudley asked curiously.

"I don't know," Petunia answered. She also wanted to know what's inside the vault.

"Well, I couldn't careless of what's in that vault," Marge said coldly.

"That's exactly what I asked!" Dudley cried in shock.

He's just like Lily, Petunia thought, always had to know everything.

That'll just make him more curious, Ripper thought humorously.

Dudley was impressed by Harry's memory. If that was him in that cart, he would have forgotten which way he'd gone on the first route.

Poor Hagrid, Ripper thought in sympathy, must have been hard for him riding those carts.

Marge and Vernon laughed gleefully at Hagrid's poor state.

Vernon's eyes widen. "That bloody boy is rich," he growled. "Here we are working our butts off to pay the bills and the ungrateful brat is keeping money all to himself!"

Marge nodded. "We should steal his money and rub it in his face."

"Right you are, Marge."

Petunia rolled her eyes.

"Damn right," Vernon said angrily.

Ripper seriously doubted that.

How ironic, Ripper thought dully, while the Dursleys complain about Harry costing them money, they're spending a lot of money on their spoiled, pampered son.

Dudley frowned. He had a feeling that Griphook was enjoying this. He was a goblin, after all.

"Seriously," Petunia said in disbelief, "is he trying to get himself killed?"

"Not that I would mind," Marge muttered to herself.

"Well, that's harsh," said Dudley uneasily.

"One of the main reasons why wizards don't try to rob Gringotts," said Petunia.

"That's it?" Dudley asked in disappointment.

No, Ripper thought, it's what's _inside_ the package that's variable.

Dudley narrowed his eyes. Was that supposed to be an insult? If it is, then he'd have another reason to beat up Harry when they finished reading the books.

Maybe Harry will finally make a friend, Ripper thought happily.

Never mind, I hate this kid, Ripper thought, growling. He reminds me of Dudley.

Dudley titled his head slightly. Not even he could deny this fact.

And Harry have to go to school with that kid for seven years, Ripper thought, I feel sorry for him.

"Quidditch," Vernon said disdainfully, "what the hell is that?"

"It's their wizarding sport," Petunia answered. " _She_ was talking nonstop about that stupid game."

"Oh."

"That's because he is," Marge sneered.

"Well, he kind of is," Vernon agreed, "doing work for Dumbledore and all that."

Me too, Ripper thought.

Dudley didn't know whether to like the boy or not.

Marge snorted. She could just image that oaf doing something like that.

"Those freaks!" Vernon cried. "I say the more normal people there are in a family, the better!"

Petunia furrowed her eyebrows. Lily had said something about this to her after her seventh year at Hogwarts, but she refused to listen.

Dudley decided that he didn't like the boy at all.

Dudley licked his lips hungrily. He really wanted ice cream right about now, but thanks to that damn diet, he couldn't eat any sweets.

Petunia looked down guiltily. She hadn't been a good big sister to Lily. She couldn't deny that.

It sounds pretty cool, Dudley couldn't help but thought.

"I bet he's in Hufflepuff!" Dudley said, laughing.

"He's right for once," Dudley muttered under his breath.

Ripper wagged his tail. Now that was something he wanted to see.

Dudley squeaked fearfully. Could Harry really do that? He didn't want to find out.

"If that boy touches my Dudders, I'll break both of his arms!" Marge said aggressively.

"And I'll break his wand, so he couldn't do any magic," Vernon added angrily.

Petunia hugged Dudley. "If that boy tries to curse you, defend yourself. All right, popkin?"

"All right, mum," Dudley replied gruffly. "Can you let go of me now?"

Petunia let go of Dudley and went back to the book.

Dudley sighed in relief.

Petunia gagged. What an awful smell!

Marge wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"That damn owl has been causing trouble since that boy brought her here," growled Vernon. "Making noises all the time."

She's beautiful and a perfect pet for Harry, Ripper thought happily. He would love to meet the owl.

"That's true. We've only gave him worthless rubbish," Petunia said, feeling a little ashamed of herself.

"Wow," said Dudley faintly, "that's a _long_ time."

Dudley wondered how Harry could sense magic. Now that was pretty impressive.

"He broke the chair," Marge said, stating the obvious.

"He remembers her wand?" Petunia asked, secretly impressed.

"Must have a very good memory," Vernon muttered.

"How can wands choose wizards?" Marge asked.

Petunia shrugged.

Something tells me Hagrid's umbrella is really his broken wand, Ripper thought.

"He's on to Hagrid," Dudley said in amusement.

"Well, of course he is," Vernon said. "It was obvious that his umbrella was really his wand."

Oh, you didn't know either, Ripper thought, glaring at Vernon.

"Wand arm?" asked Dudley in bewilderment.

"I don't know why the freaks measure like that," Petunia said, before anyone ask any questions about it.

So, there's more to wands than just being wood, Dudley thought, thinking about all the times he made fun of Harry's wand.

"Lily was just like that, except it didn't take her long to find her wand," Petunia muttered wistfully.

No one but Ripper heard her.

"He must like a tricky customer, then," Vernon grunted. If that was him, he'll quit long ago (not that he'll work in a freakish shop that sold wands).

And the wand chooses, Ripper thought in excitement, Harry Potter!

"All right!" Dudley cheered, without realizing it.

Vernon, Petunia, and Marge stared at Dudley in shock. Why on earth would their Dudley cheer for that Potter brat? Vernon looked at the book angrily. He wanted to burn the books in a fire, but time will remain frozen forever if he'd done that. And he wasn't sure if the person who sent them those bloody books (the person must be a freak) will send them another set of books.

Ripper, who heard Dudley cheer for Harry, howled in delight.

"Wands can have brothers?" Vernon asked, frowning, missing the point of Harry's wand being brothers with a wand who gave him his scar.

"Oh my," Petunia gasped. She should have paid attention to Lily when she was talking about wandlore with _that boy_.

Knowing something was wrong, Ripper whined.

"Is he admiring the bad wizard's deeds?" Dudley asked in horror.

"He's admiring his magic," Petunia answered, though she was a little disgusted at the way Mr. Ollivander had said it.

"Destined for great things," Marge scoffed, "that boy is only destined for getting himself killed, just like his parents!"

"That's right, Marge," Vernon agreed.

Ripper couldn't do anything but huff at the moment. However, he made a mental note to bite Marge and Vernon and run away to live in the magical world after the reading.

"They should have arrested them for that," Marge muttered sadly.

"He's not special to us," Vernon said bitterly.

Dudley began to wonder what Hogwarts was like. Was it just like any ordinary school, but a magical one? Did it look like a huge palace or just a small school building? Dudley really wanted to find out.

Ripper wondered how the owls know where to find the wizard they're giving the letters to. Were they're magical owls that were highly intelligent and know how to read? He guessed he'll find out soon enough.

"That's the end of the chapter," Petunia said, closing the book. "Who wants to read next?"

"Can I read?" Dudley asked eagerly.

Before Petunia said anything, Dudley grabbed the book out of her hand, opened to the next chapter, and begun reading.


	7. The Journey From Platform Nine and Three

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. I also do not own Harry Potter. All belongs to the author of the books, J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

 **Chapter Six: The Journey From Platform Nine and Three-Quarters**

Dudley blushed at his cowardly behavior.

"You shouldn't be scared of that prat," said Marge, patting Dudley's shoulder. "With those muscles, _he_ should be scared of _you_."

Dudley gave a small smile. "Thanks, Aunt Marge."

"What a terrible name," Vernon scoffed.

Ripper didn't really hate his name, but he thought Hedwig was a better name than "Ripper". It was such an ordinary and common dog's name.

"That diseased creature," Petunia shuddered. "I should have never let Harry keep that thing."

"I might let Ripper have some… _fun_ with the bird," Marge said, with evil glint in her eyes.

No, I won't, Ripper thought angrily, and you can't make me!

Dudley swore under his breath. Marge was right; he shouldn't be scared of his scrawny cousin.

"You'll expect those freaks to fly they're way to school," Vernon snorted, "but no, they take a _train_ there."

"Actually, there is," Petunia muttered to herself. "And I knew, but I just didn't want to remember."

Vernon grumbled about freaks and their stupid magic.

Dudley squirmed, remembering that day. It was the worse experience of his life (second only to that tongue incident).

"Impatient boy," barked Marge, "unlike my perfect nephew."

Dudley beamed.

Petunia frowned, knowing where this was going.

"What're you going to do, Vernon," Marge asked, smiling nastily.

Instead of answering, Vernon gestured Dudley to keep reading.

"It could be invisible," Dudley guessed, thinking about the Leaky Cauldron.

Ripper stared at Dudley in shock. For once, he's using his brain!

"It is," said Petunia.

Marge burst into laughter. "I wish I was there; would've been one of the best days of my life!"

Petunia turned to Vernon and said in a low voice so that only he can hear, "Did you have to leave the boy alone at the station? There were people at the station, you know."

Vernon had the decency to look ashamed.

Bad idea, Ripper thought.

What an idiot, Dudley thought, rolling his eyes. Why would he ask a normal person where Hogwarts was?

Petunia sighed. She wondered what Lily would say about the treatment of her son.

"Great," Vernon groaned, "it's those Weasley freaks."

"You know them?" Marge asked curiously.

"Unfortunately, we do."

Marge wondered how her normal family could have known those _things_ , but she decided not to ask, figuring she'll learn about it from the book.

Dudley gave a fearful squeak, remembering those horrid twins that gave him that damn "candy".

"What the hell happened to him?" Vernon asked, looking confused.

"He went through the wall between the platforms," Petunia said, in a voice so low Vernon couldn't hear her.

Dudley frowned. Did the boy use magic to disappear? Dudley shook his head. No, the station was packed with Muggles, so he couldn't have used magic in such a crowded place.

"What a disrespectful little brat!" Petunia cried in outrage.

Marge crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "If I were that woman, I'll slap him."

Just ask the boys' mother, Ripper thought encouragingly.

Dudley sniggered and Vernon snorted at the description.

Ripper hoped Harry and the freckled boy will be friends. It'll do Harry some good to have someone who got his back.

"Is that how the wizards get onto platform nine and three quarters?" Dudley asked.

Petunia nodded.

I hope he does, Marge thought, smirking.

Before he could stop himself, Dudley smiled. He felt strangely happy for Harry. I'm just glad I don't have to see him for a whole year, Dudley thought, justifying his feeling.

Dudley chuckled and Marge merely rolled her eyes.

Petunia turned a bit white. Why would _any_ have a spider for a pet?

Marge smirked.

Vernon growled. He really wanted to break those twins' neck for what they did to his son.

Dudley whimpered. Petunia was about to go comfort him, but he shook his head and continued reading.

Vernon nodded his head. "See? I told you the boy was an attention-seeking git."

Ripper wondered how thick-headed Vernon was. It's obvious the child didn't like being in the spotlight.

"He's eavesdropping again," Marge barked. "What a nosy little filth."

Dudley winced. His mother always did that when the family was about to have an important event.

"He must think he's really important with that badge on," said Petunia, frowning.

"Big-headed git," said Dudley under his breath.

"Well, he's not important," Vernon huffed. "Badge or no badge."

Dudley snorted. He didn't want to admit it, but the twins were quite funny – if they're not pulling pranks on _him_ that is.

Never give a prankster ideas, Petunia thought, shuddering. She had learned this the hard way when she had met James Potter.

"No, he's not," Dudley said, shaking his head. "It's never safe when those twins are around."

Ripper agreed with the woman. Harry wasn't something to gawk at.

"No," Petunia said. "He hardly remembers that night."

"No, he's not," said Dudley.

Marge sniffed disdainfully. "Such naughty boys. Glad I don't have kids."

Of course, Ripper thought, anything is better than the Dursley family.

"He's so observant," said Petunia.

Nobody could tell if she was being sarcastic (which is really rare for Petunia) or she was actually _praising_ Harry.

"That kid lacks tack," said Marge.

Petunia wondered why Marge cared about having tack since she lacks the quality as well.

Dudley wished he was there to intimidate Ron. He couldn't let Harry have any friends, but he knew it was way too late for that.

They're mean and nasty, Ripper thought, glaring at the family with hatred. And not to mention boring.

"He should be grateful," said Vernon aggressively. "We gave him clothes, food, and a roof over his head and this is how he repays us? You were right, Marge. We've should have sent him to the orphanage!"

"Of course, I'm right," said Marge smugly.

Petunia didn't know whether to agree or not. While she did believe Harry should be more grateful, they did treat him like dirt.

Dudley thought about all the times he was mean to Harry and felt a wave of shame hit him. Wow, he thought, we really were too harsh on Harry. Then he shook his head. No, that git deserved it. He was a freak after all. Dudley sighed. He didn't know what to believe anymore.

Petunia knew exactly how that feels. To be overshadowed by a sibling that was better than you. Yes, this boy has a lot to live up to.

This was one of the things that made Dudley glad he didn't have any siblings.

Petunia wrinkled her nose in disgust. Only the freaks would have filthy rats for pets.

"What are these freaks, cowards?" said Marge. "It's just a name!"

"Right," Vernon agreed. "There's no need to be scared of a name."

"I bet he is," said Dudley coolly.

"Where's Hogwarts, anyway?" Vernon asked suddenly, looking at Petunia for an answer.

Petunia shrugged. " _She_ never told me."

"Wizards don't have Mars Bars," said Dudley, "do they?"

"No," Petunia replied.

"Freak food," Vernon scowled.

Dudley sighed in longing. All those sweets sounded so good. He hadn't had any candy ever since his summer break had started. Dudley thought for a moment. Maybe he could sneak into Harry's room and see if he had left any sweets there. Dudley was pretty sure those candies the twins had given him wasn't in Harry's room, since one of the twins (or was it Fred?) had dropped they're prank candies in the living room.

Another reason why Dudley was glad he was an only child (besides Harry, but he didn't count as a sibling).

And the friendship was formed, Ripper thought not surprised, through food. He hoped Harry could make more friends.

Magical people have trading cards, Dudley thought in shock, just like normal people. He was finding it harder and harder to hate the wizarding world.

"He sounds familiar," said Marge thoughtfully.

"It's that freak, Dumbledore," said Petunia dully.

"Twelve uses of dragon's blood," said Vernon. "First liver of a dragon and now blood? What the hell is wrong with those weirdos?"

"He defeated another dark wizard?" Dudley asked in interest. "If he did that in 1945, then how old is he?"

Petunia answered, "Based on his long beard, I guess he's very old."

"He enjoys chamber music and tenpin bowling?" Marge said in disbelief.

"You mean wizarding photos could move?" Dudley asked, shocked.

"Yes," said Petunia. She had seen one of those Chocolate Frog cards move when she had snuck into Lily's room to see some of her magical things. Needless to say, she'd never went into Lily's room again.

"That's not weird," said Vernon, "that's normal."

"Unlike those wizards and their stupid powers," Marge added.

Ripper had a strange feeling the beans were in _every_ flavor.

"Ewww," said Petunia, turning green. "That is disgusting!"

Dudley decided to skip the Every Flavor Beans when he sneak into Harry's room.

Harry got lucky, Ripper thought in amusement.

"I doubt it," Marge murmured. That toad will never show up.

Vernon snorted.

Dudley wondered how the wand got into that condition. Charlie must have been in some magical fights or something for the wand to get like that.

"This girl is annoying," groaned Marge.

"She sounds like a know-it-all," Dudley said, rolling his eyes.

Ripper wondered if that really was a spell. It sounded like a made-up spell.

"I bet it won't work," Vernon sneered.

Dudley gasped for breath. "Damn, this girl can talk!"

"It's official," said Marge, "this girl – Hermione Granger – is annoying."

She may be annoying, Ripper thought, but she seems very bright. And she might befriend Harry and Ron, somehow.

Petunia couldn't help being impressed by this.

"As if the boy isn't big-headed already, they have to go and write books about him," said Vernon, glaring daggers at the book Dudley was holding.

Thank God, Marge thought in relief, she was starting to get on my nerves.

"Of course, it was a dud," Petunia said, putting one hand to her forehead. "How gullible can Ron be?"

He's such a sweet boy, Ripper thought sadly, too bad the Dursleys refused to see it

"Someone did?" Vernon asked his eyes wide. "Who would be mad enough to rob a high security vault in a freaky bank?"

Petunia frowned. It could have been anyone in the Leaky Cauldron. They must be very powerful if they tried to rob Gringotts.

Ripper grew suspicious. He remembered that shady character, Professor Quirrell. Maybe he was the one who tried to rob Gringotts. He may act like a nervous, stuttering man, but Ripper knew something was up. How Quirrell had done it, he didn't know. Ripper had to keep his ears open for any suspicious behavior from Quirrell.

Dudley looked excited. A mystery already? That's so amazing!

Dudley looked was growing more and more curious about Quidditch. Could it possibly better than Muggle sports? He'd just have to wait until a chapter about the sport shows up.

"Who is it this time?" said Petunia wearily.

Great, Ripper thought angrily, it's that jerk again. And things were going so well, too.

Dudley raised an eyebrow. That boy sounds a lot like him, except he didn't need bodyguards to hide behind. **(A/N: Dudley's Gang, anyone?)**

"Well, it's true," said Marge ignoring the insult that was thrown at Ron.

"He thinks Harry would go on his side after that insult?" Dudley said, shaking his head. "He's not too bright, is he?"

"No," Vernon said, nodding his head in agreement.

You tell him, Harry! Ripper thought, wagging his tail in excitement.

"That nasty little brat!" Petunia cried in outrage. "How dare he say that!"

Ripper really wanted to sink his teeth in Malfoy's neck. He's worse than Dudley, Ripper thought furiously.

Dudley chuckled. At least someone's there to torment Harry.

Dudley frowned. He'd never seen Harry stand up for himself when he and his gang were picking on him. Maybe there was a lot more to the scrawny boy than he thought.

"Wow," Dudley said in amazement. "That rat finally did something useful."

"But he's still nasty," said Petunia.

"Not her again," Marge grumbled.

"What a lazy, no-good rat," Vernon ranted.

Well, he did save Harry and Ron's candy, Ripper thought, so I guess he deserve some rest after he hit the window.

"She sounds like she's worried about them," said Vernon annoyed.

Dudley chuckled at this. Why should Hermione worry about Ron's nose?

"What're they so nervous about?" Marge asked hotly.

Nobody answered her.

"Three guesses who it is," said Petunia.

"It's that huge, oafish freak Hagrid," said Vernon.

Dudley looked excited. He was about to read what Hogwarts looked like. Believe it or not, he'd always wondered what Hogwarts and its classes were like.

"Harry's school is a huge _castle_?" Dudley asked in utter amazement. Hogwarts sounded beautiful and magical (which it was). He really wanted to be there with Harry, learning magic in a castle.

Petunia looked at the book in awe. Now she knew what Hogwarts was really looked like. She had heard about Hogwarts from Lily, but it was nothing compared to the description the book gave.

Ripper wagged his tail. He had wanted to run around and play in a huge place, since Marge's home wasn't too big. Maybe one day, he'll get a chance to visit the castle. I wondered if there are magical dogs in the wizarding world, Ripper thought.

Even Vernon and Marge were impressed.

Harry, Ron, Neville, and Hermione are destined to be friends, Ripper thought happily, why else would they be in the same boat?

Petunia loved the description the book gave. She could easily imagine herself there at Hogwarts. She sighed wistfully. She couldn't go to Hogwarts, but she can still imagine being there.

"He named the toad Trevor?" Vernon said.

"I can't believe that toad had made it that far without getting found," said Marge.

"That's the end of the chapter," said Dudley closing the book. "Dad, could you read next?"

"Oh, all right," Vernon replied, taking the book and leafing it to the next chapter.


	8. The Sorting Hat

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. All rights belong to J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

 **Chapter Seven: The Sorting Hat**

"That school is nothing but a madhouse," Vernon muttered.

"How do they get sorted?" Dudley asked.

Petunia shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's some sort of test?"

"If it is a test," Marge said coldly, "Harry – and all those abnormal children – will fail."

"That Granger girl would be the only one that passed," Vernon added.

Except for Slytherin, Ripper thought. So far, Slytherin didn't have a good reputation among the wizarding world. Which is sort of understandable since the most powerful dark wizard was in Slytherin himself.

"How did he manage to do that?" Vernon asked.

"What a clumsy boy," Marge said disdainfully.

"It's like they're trying to scare the first years," Marge laughed.

Petunia huffed. "Does he have to be so dramatic?"

Ripper snorted. A bit hypocritical of her to say that when she herself is a drama queen.

Petunia turned white. "G-g-ghosts?"

"Ghosts? What could they do? Possess objects?" said Marge, with fake bravado.

"I don't really care," huffed Vernon, "just as long as the ghosts stay away from normal people like us."

Wizards go to school with ghosts, Dudley thought grinning. He wondered if his school was haunted by ghosts. Muggles would probably want to tear it down or let it be. How boring would that be?

"No, they just like standing in a chamber," said Dudley, rolling his eyes.

Ripper wondered if Professor McGonagall had charmed Harry's (or any of the students') legs. He doubt it though, considering Harry's nervous.

"Wow," Dudley said in amazement. Hogwarts sounded like it was fun and mysterious place to be. It was better than his boring old school, Smeltings.

"So, they have their own weather forecast inside their school, eh?" said Vernon, trying to make a joke.

Dudley rolled his eyes.

Petunia shook her head in disgust. "Don't they ever watch the thing?"

Marge's jaw dropped. "A singing hat? They have _hat_ that can _sing_."

"Lily never told me this," Petunia said.

"Those freaks always enchant things," said Vernon knowingly. "So why be surprised?"

"I want to see a hat sing," Dudley whined. "It would be so cool."

"You will not," said Vernon in a surprisingly stern voice. "I forbid you."

Dudley pretended not to hear.

I want to see a talking hat, Ripper thought hopefully, maybe we could be friends.

"The Sorting Hat is describing all the houses in its song," said Dudley, taking all the information in.

"So Hufflepuff is the house for the loyal people and Ravenclaw is the house for smart people," said Petunia. "Gryffindor is the house for the brave and Slytherin is the house for cunning and ambitious people."

"Not bad," said Marge grudgingly. "Not bad for a hat."

So, that's how the wizards get sorted, Ripper thought in wonder, how interesting.

"Not normal," Vernon murmured, "not normal."

"If that house was real, then almost everyone would be in it," Petunia said in amusement.

"How does the hat know where to put the students?" Dudley asked curiously.

"The hat is magical," his mother answered, "so it'll know which house to put the students in."

"Oh, okay."

Petunia tsked in disapproval.

Vernon and Marge shot Dudley a look of approval. They didn't notice the guilty look in his eyes.

"I bet she's in Ravenclaw," said Dudley wearily.

"Oh," he said sheepishly, "never mind, then."

It's official, Ripper thought happily, Harry, Ron, and Hermione are destined to be the best of friends.

"If that happened, I'll kick that boy out of my house!" Vernon barked.

"He's gotta be in Hufflepuff, for sure," said Marge. "That house sounds like it's for weaklings and he's one, just like Harry."

Marge started to grumble. She hated being wrong.

That hat probably didn't want to touch that fool's slimy head, Ripper thought, and I don't blame it. I wouldn't either.

"Geez, can they give the guy his space?" Dudley asked, annoyed at all the attention Harry was receiving.

"In other words, he would have been put in any house," said Petunia, impressed.

"That boy is still a lazy, no-good, waste of space," said Vernon bitterly.

Oh, shut up, Mr. Walrus, Ripper thought, glaring at Vernon.

Marge growled. It would have been better if Harry was ignored.

Vernon shuddered. He felt cold just reading about it.

Ripper's instincts kicked in. Quirrell wasn't wearing a turban before, so why did he have it on now? Did he have something to hide?

"He'll be a Gryffindor," said Dudley. "His whole family had been in Gryffindor, anyway."

Marge raised an eyebrow. "What the hell?"

"Well, Lily did say Dumbledore was a bit mad," said Petunia, shrugging.

"It's not just him that's mad," said Vernon. "It's the whole damn wizarding world!"

Dudley and Vernon's stomach both growled. They looked sheepishly at Petunia who said, "We'll eat after this chapter."

And that's why Dudley is so fat, Ripper thought. I'm surprised Vernon, Petunia, or Marge don't see it. It must be because they're all complete idiots.

Petunia gasped. "My Dudleykins will never do that!"

Dudley shuffled his feet guilty.

"Nearly Headless Nick," scoffed Marge. "How can he be nearly headless?"

"That's what I just asked!"

"Really," said Petunia in disgust. "Did he have to do that while the students were eating?"

"What happened to him to make him so bloody?" Dudley asked. Of course, no one knew, so nobody answered.

Ripper snorted at Malfoy's discomfort.

Dudley moaned. Was the book trying to torture him by describing all the foods and sweets he couldn't have?

The Dursleys laughed as well, not knowing they were laughing with a wizard.

"Did he try to get rid of the magic, like we try to do with that boy?" Vernon asked.

"No," Petunia answered. "He means his great uncle tried to force Neville to show his magic."

"The toad that kept running away from him," Dudley grinned.

Neville must be a late bloomer, Ripper thought, showing off his magic late like that.

Petunia froze. No, it couldn't be _him_ ….could it? It wasn't possible…he couldn't be teaching at that school. Petunia shook her head. No, that was somebody else. Somebody that looked exactly like that...that _boy_ from her past.

"What?" said a bewilder Marge.

"How in the world could his scar hurt?" Vernon asked. He wasn't concerned about the boy. He just wanted to know.

Ripper was suddenly alert. How could Harry's scar hurt like that? Could that hook-nosed teacher had caused it? And why's Quirrell's turban is mentioned several times? Ripper will have to keep an eye on both Quirrell and that greasy-haired teacher.

"It's _him_!" Petunia cried, pointing at the book. "Severus Snape! The one who took Lily away from me!"

There was a stunned silence. Everyone looked at Petunia in shock and confusion.

Then Vernon broke the silence. "Y-you _knew_ him?"

Petunia nodded feeling ashamed of herself.

"How?"

"He and Lily were childhood friends," she said in a tone that meant she didn't want to talk about it.

Vernon sighed. He had no chance but to drop the subject.

Ripper mentally added Snape to the suspect list. If he knows a lot about the Dark Arts, then maybe he was the one who tried to rob Gringotts and steal the treasure. Ripper shook his head. No, that wasn't possible. Snape was at Hogwarts when the "robbery" happened. Then Ripper came to a wild conclusion that Snape and Quirrell were working together.

"Of course, the twins would go into forbidden places," chuckled Dudley.

"What a cheerful warning," said Marge sarcastically.

"There must be something dangerous in the third-floor corridor," Petunia concluded. "But why's it in the school?" Her eyes widened. "Could it be that treasure somebody tried to steal from Gringotts? Could the object be _inside_ Hogwarts?"

Vernon shrugged. He didn't really care about all that hocus pocus. He knew Marge didn't care either.

"It must be," said Dudley. "Why else would the third-floor corridor be forbidden?"

Petunia and Dudley are finally using their brains, Ripper thought, but I'm still smarter than all the Dursleys combined!

"Don't expect Dumbledore to tell the prefects everything, kid," said Marge irritably.

"What kind of song is that?" Vernon said. "Thank God Smeltings don't have a school song."

"Whoever wrote the lyrics must have been drunk," said Marge.

Petunia had heard the song only once. It was the time when James and his friends came over to her parents' house and stayed there for a couple of days. One of them – Sirius Black, she believed – had sung that stupid song. The song was stuck in Petunia's head for days after that.

Dudley frowned. That was the weirdest song he'd had ever heard. And yet, it was funny in a strange sort of way.

"What are they, horses?" said Vernon, smirking.

"So, portraits in the wizarding world not only move, but they could talk," said Marge in disbelief. "What kind of crazy world are they living in?"

"See, I've told you the school was a madhouse," said Vernon proudly.

So, that's what a poltergeist really looks like, Dudley thought in wonder. He saw television shows that portrayed poltergeists as ghost-like and transparent. Now he knew they were wrong. He wondered what else normal people had gotten wrong with magical stuff.

"That ghost is creepy," said Petunia shuddering.

"So the portrait of the fat lady is like an entrance to the Gryffindor common room," said Dudley. At Smeltings, the students have keys to their common room. They didn't have to tell the password or anything like that.

"And this is why animals aren't allowed on beds," said Petunia, glancing at Ripper with a look of dislike.

"Don't worry, Petunia," said Marge reassuringly. "My dogs aren't allowed on my bed. Not even Ripper."

True, Ripper thought grudgingly.

"It must be a nightmare," said Marge unconcern.

Ripper wondered if it was really a nightmare. Was the dream trying to warn Harry of upcoming dangers? Are dreams treated as warnings in the magical world?

Damn, Ripper thought angrily, what's the point of analyzing a dream if Harry didn't remember it? He decided to pass the dream off as a nightmare for now.

"That's the end of the chapter," said Vernon closing the book. "Can we eat now? I'm starving!"

"Oh, all right," said Petunia warmly. "I'll go cook us something to eat."

* * *

 **A/N: The original story will be deleted sometime today.**


	9. The Potions Master

**Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, so I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

 **Chapter Eight: The Potion's Master**

As Petunia was cooking food for the family, her mind kept wandering back to memories she rather forget.

" _You're a witch."_

It was Snape who told Lily she was a witch. It was Snape who stolen Lily from Petunia. It was Snape who got her sister _killed_. If it hadn't been for him, Lily would still be alive and Harry wouldn't burden the Dursleys with his freakishness.

And now Petunia was forced to reveal unwanted memories from books about her wayward nephew and his abnormal world. However, she couldn't help but wonder why Snape was teaching at Hogwarts. Maybe he couldn't find a decent job so he had to take up teaching instead.

Maybe he's a lousy teacher, Petunia thought nastily. Good-for-nothing creep.

When Petunia set the table with plates filled with mashed potatoes with a side of vegetables, she called the family to the table. The Dursleys ate in silence, each in their own thoughts. After they ate, they went back to the living room.

"You should read the next chapter, Aunt Marge," said Dudley, grabbing the Sorcerer's Stone and handing it to her.

Marge glared at the book, but took it. "All right, fine."

She turned to the next chapter and read.

"What's so special about that scrawny freak?" Dudley asked angrily. "So he defeated a bad wizard when he was a baby. Big deal!" _Why couldn't I have all that attention?_ Dudley wondered bitterly.

"That boy doesn't deserve all that fame," growled Marge. "He's just a good-for-nothing weakling."

Vernon nodded his head in agreement.

Moving staircases, fake doors, talking portraits, oh my! Ripper thought in amazement.

" _Normal_ schools don't have moving things around," said Vernon, thinking of Smeltings.

Petunia closed her eyes tightly as jealousy traveled through her body. Why didn't she have magic? Why was it always Lily who got everything and Petunia nothing? _It wasn't fair._

Ripper shuddered, remembering the icy feeling the book described when a ghost pass through a person.

"If Peeves causes so much trouble, why not get rid of him?" asked Dudley confused.

Marge shrugged. "Because they're idiots, that's why."

No, Ripper thought, Peeves makes Hogwarts more...wild and lively.

"Always knew that boy was a troublemaker," Marge said coldly.

Petunia nodded. Just like his father, she thought.

Just their luck, Ripper thought. To accidently be on the out-of-bounds corridor on the third floor.

"Should've locked the boy and his red-haired friend in the dungeons," said Vernon disappointedly. He wanted to see Harry suffer.

"How is that possible?" Petunia asked. "Animals can't tell people anything."

Oh, yes we can, Ripper thought, offended. He glared at Petunia.

I could catch Mrs. Norris and shave her, Dudley thought with a mean glint in his piggy eyes. But he wasn't a freak, so he'll never get the chance to do it.

Vernon snored. "What's the point of studying the stars? What they're going to do, tell the future?"

You never know what wizards are capable of, Vernon, Ripper thought wisely.

Marge rolled her eyes. "Doesn't the idiot know he's dead?"

"I don't think so," said Petunia in bewilderment.

"History is boring, be it magical or non-magical," muttered Dudley.

"Midget," Vernon said disgustingly. Who would ever let a man that short teach was behind him.

"Even the professors loves stupid _Harry Potter_ ," said Dudley in envy.

Way to get their hopes up, McGonagall, Ripper thought amusingly.

"Hermione is such a show-off," said Petunia disdainfully.

"Wait, zombies are real?" Dudley asked fearfully.

"And how could Quirrell defeat a zombie?" Marge rolled her eyes. "He's too much of a coward to fight anything!"

Ripper narrowed his eyes. Quirrell wasn't wearing a turban when he was at the Leaky Cauldron, so why would he wear one now? And why did it smell like garlic? Ripper was sure it wasn't to ward off vengeful vampires.

"How can a normal family produce a freak?" Vernon asked disdainfully. He looked at Petunia for an answer since she had the most knowledge of the freak world (much to Vernon's disgust), but she shrugged.

"Oh no," Dudley couldn't help but mutter. He have a feeling Snape was like one of his professors at Smeltings. If he was, then he wished Harry luck.

Petunia wrinkled her nose. "Diseased owls flying near the food? How repulsive! Feathers could get in the food!"

Ripper wagged his tail when Hedwig was mentioned. He really wanted to meet Hedwig and befriend her. She's so sweet to her master.

"It's about time something doesn't go well for the boy," Vernon smirked. .

Marge grinned nastily. "I wonder what happened to Harry to have a bad time in Potions. It must be that greasy-haired teacher, Snape."

"Finally a teacher who doesn't treat that boy like a celebrity!" said Marge gleefully. "I'm starting to like Snape now, however much of a freak he is."

Vernon nodded in agreement.

Ripper frowned. Why did Snape hate Harry so much? He was just a child after all. Maybe they'll find out as they read the books.

Petunia looked at the book in Marge's large hands with a blank expression on her face. She knew Snape's hatred of Harry had something to do with Lily. He did had a crush on her sister in Petunia's childhood. And Lily did mentioned a falling out with Snape.

Dudley rolled his eyes. What Marge had read confirmed his suspicions. _Oh well,_ Dudley thought dismissively, _Snape couldn't be worse than Professor Davis._ Professor Davis was his middle-aged Chemistry teacher. Mean and bitter, he made sure that every student in his class, especially Dudley and his gang, was miserable.

Pickled animals in glass jars? Ripper thought. There better not be any dogs in them!

Vernon chuckled. "This is the best chapter so far."

Dudley shuddered.

"That speech was good," Petunia said quietly.

Up until the dunderhead part, Ripper thought angrily.

Vernon and Marge laughed at Snape's bullying Harry. Dudley didn't know whether to laugh or feel sorry for his cousin (he didn't care about the scrawny guy).

Ripper suppressed a growl. Harry was just a first year, how was he supposed to know that? What a git!

It was at this moment Petunia realized that she and Snape have one thing in common: their hatred of Harry because of Lily.

"What the hell is a bezoar?" Vernon asked confused.

Malfoy and his two idiots wouldn't know either, Ripper thought with a snort.

"Hermione memorized all her books," Dudley pointed out.

"Talking back to the teacher?" said Marge eagerly. "Harry's going to get it now!"

"That's not fair," Dudley blurted out. "He was the one to provoke Harry. Snape shouldn't have taken a point from Gryffindor just for the cheek."

Vernon looked at his son. "Of course, the boy's house should get punished. He shouldn't have said that. If a person gets into trouble, then the whole group should suffer along with him."

"That's right, Vernon," said Marge.

"Favoritism," said Petunia venomously. Her parents did that to Lily when they found out she was a witch, leaving Petunia in the shadows.

Dudley frowned. Professor Davis never showed any favoritism to his students. But who was worse, Snape or Davis? Dudley thought Snape was worse since he was a wizard and can do magic.

Marge laughed. "What a clumsy fool, Neville is!"

Vernon smirked. "He's clumsier than Harry, if that's even possible."

"I wonder how Neville even got into Gryffindor," said Dudley, laughing.

It was just a mistake! Ripper thought in outrage. Snape shouldn't have insult Neville for that.

Petunia frowned. As much as she hated Harry, even she had to admit that Snape taking another point from Gryffindor and blaming Harry was unfair and a low blow (it didn't cross her mind that she and Vernon do this to Harry all the time before he found out he was a wizard).

"Good," snarled Vernon. "That boy shouldn't be happy anyway."

 _Because of Lily_ , Petunia thought. _That's why he hates you, Harry. Like I do._

Ripper wagged his tail excitedly. Finally, there's a dog in the book! Maybe he'll meet Fang someday.

"Unsanitary," said Petunia, looking disgusted at the thought of a dog licking a person's face.

"Hagrid really can't cook, can he?" Vernon asked unkindly.

Petunia wrinkled her nose at the thought of dog drool.

Ripper wondered if he could drool all over Petunia's precious floor, but thought better of it.

"So even Hagrid knows of Snape's hatred of Harry," said Dudley. "But does he know why, though?"

Petunia opened her mouth and was about to say why Snape hates Harry, but she closed it. Let them find out for themselves, she thought, glancing at the other six books in the box.

Dudley's eyes shone in excitement. "The Gringotts break-in! I've forgotten about that. They still don't know who tried to rob the bank?"

Vernon and Marge looked uninterested, but Petunia was a little curious. Who would want to rob a bank filled with bloodthirsty goblins and for what, treasure?

Ripper's ears perked up. July 31. The attempted robbery happened on Harry's birthday! Ripper immediately thought of Quirrell. He was there on the day of the break-in after all. But how did he do it and why?

"Hagrid got that package out right on time," Dudley said. "But what's so valuable about a package? What's inside it?"

The package is probably in the school, Ripper thought knowingly.

"All right," said Marge, throwing the book on the table, which landed with a slam. "I'm done reading. Whoever picks up the book can read the damn thing."

* * *

 **A/N: Petunia doesn't know about Snape and James. She only knows that Snape had a crush on Lily, and she assumed that it was because he didn't get Lily that made him hate Harry (she's half right).**

 **Question: Which book are you looking forward for the Dursleys to react? You can tell me which chapter it is. And I like to know why you've picked it :).**

 **For me, it's The Other Minister in the Half-Blood Prince. It'll be really funny for them, especially Vernon considering his views on politics, to know that the Prime Minister knows the wizarding world's existence!**


	10. The Midnight Duel

**A/N: I'm sorry I hadn't updated this and all my fanfics in a while. I had lost some inspiration. When I got it back, my grandmother fell ill and passed away. I didn't want to write after her death, but I couldn't leave you guys hanging any longer, so I'm back writing. I hope you can understand this better this way.**

 **Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. I'm just a young girl who happens to be a fan of Harry Potter, which belongs to the author herself.**

* * *

For a moment, nobody moved to pick up the book. Then Petunia picked it up. "If no one else is going to read, then I'll do it."

Turning the book to chapter nine, Petunia began to read.

 **xxx**

"The feeling is mutual," said Dudley, glaring at the book. However, as much as Dudley hated Harry, it was kind of unnerving to hear it spoken aloud.

 **xxx**

"Flying on brooms, perhaps?" Marge asked, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"All they need is green skin and warts," said Vernon, chuckling. "Then they'll be true freakish witches."

Petunia frowned. She remembered Snape telling Lily that she was a witch before she knew that magic existed. Lily had thought he insulted her. _It would had been better if he intended to insult Lily,_ Petunia thought bitterly.

 **xxx**

"I hope Harry falls off of the broom and injuries himself," Marge said evilly.

And I hope you shut up, Ripper thought, glaring at the woman.

 **xxx**

Most bullies are like that, Ripper thought, looking pointedly at the Dursleys. Always trying to show off, but really nothing but cowards.

 **xxx**

Dudley rolled his eyes. Not even he bragged that much.

 **xxx**

"What's so great about flying on a broom?" Vernon grunted, tired of the abnormal kids bragging about flying on brooms.

"Even Lily flew on a broom," Petunia said. Her tone was a mixture of disgust and jealousy, but nobody except Ripper caught it.

Ripper looked at the bitter woman sympathetically. As much as he felt sorry for Petunia, he couldn't forgive her for the way she treated her own nephew. The dog wondered if Lily would feel the same way he did.

 **xxx**

"Forget soccer and Quidditch!" Dudley couldn't help but say. "Boxing is the best sport!" Nothing beats a sport where you beat a person up.

 **xxx**

"How did Neville end up in Gryffindor?" Marge asked nastily. "That boy is even weaker than Harry."

"We will ever know," Vernon answered.

 **xxx**

Hermione needs to learn that sometimes you don't need books to learn, Ripper thought.

 **xxx**

At least she's tried to help them by giving tips, Ripper thought.

If Dudley was sitting there in the Great Hall, he threatened Hermione to shut up.

 **xxx**

Petunia shook her head. "His parents spoil him. No wonder he's such a brat."

Like you're the one to talk, Ripper thought angrily. Hypocrite!

 **xxx**

"The Remembrall thing is useless," huffed Marge. "It only _shows_ when you forget something, not _tell_ you. Whoever created that thing is stupid."

Ripper couldn't help but agree with his owner. Except the creator being stupid, of course.

 **xxx**

"The strong putting the weak in their place?" Vernon grinned. "Just like Dudley. I like this kid."

Dudley smiled at his father, but he wasn't sure if he should take that as a compliment or not.

 **xxx**

Dudley groaned inwardly. It's always that one teacher that ruins his gang's fun. He scowled as he remembered when one of his teachers had stopped him from bullying a boy younger than him.

 **xxx**

"I wonder," said Petunia, frowning, "why is a dangerous forest next to Hogwarts?"

"Who knows?" Marge replied. "Wizards don't think."

It's probably to give Hogwarts a more magical feel, Ripper thought irritably.

 **xxx**

"I guess the freak school don't have any money if they can't afford to buy new brooms," said Vernon disdainfully.

 **xxx**

Ripper frowned. It looks like Harry will finally have something he could do better than the rest of the students.

"So what the broom jumped in that useless brat's hand," grumbled Vernon. "It doesn't mean he would be good at all."

Dudley's eyebrows furrowed. He had always been better than his cousin; there was no way Harry would be good at anything. Even magic.

 **xxx**

That'll take the snobbish boy down a peg or two, thought Ripper delightedly. Bragging about riding a broom and not even riding it right!

 **xxx**

"You have to do all that just to ride a broom?" Petunia said in bewilderment. Who knew riding on broomsticks was so complicated?

 **xxx**

The Dursleys and Ripper winced.

"Falling twenty feet?" Petunia gasped, sounding unusually concerned. "Neville could have broken bones!"

"Oh, that boy is fine!" said Marge, waving her hand dismissively. She could careless about Neville or anyone in the book. If they're not a Dursley, then they could die for all she care.

 **xxx**

"A broken wrist?" Vernon said in disbelief. "The boy falls twenty feet in the air and only gets a broken wrist?"

"See, I told you Neville was fine."

Dudley frowned. "Maybe those magic people's powers protects them like a shield or something."

Ripper looked at Dudley, astonished. The boy was using his brain again!

 **xxx**

Ripper growled. He wish Malfoy was the one to get a broken wrist - or worse.

Dudley laughed. "Look at what Neville done to himself, the clumsy oaf!" When he caught his mother's glare, Dudley stopped laughing.

Petunia turned to the book and sighed. She never knew her Duddikins was a bully; but she can try to change that, no matter what the note said.

Vernon and Marge smirked. Finally one of the freaks got hurt!

 **xxx**

"Break the damn thing," Marge urged. "The Remembrall is useless anyway."

 **xxx**

"Oh, what's that coward going to do?" Vernon said nastily. "Tell the teacher like a weak pansy?"

Dudley grinned. He remembered when Harry try to stand up to him once; the boy ended up with a bloody nose and broken glasses.

 **xxx**

Come on, Harry! Thought Ripper encouragingly. Show that Malfoy brat what you're made of!

 **xxx**

The Dursleys were silent as the thought of _Harry_ having a natural talent slowly sunk. No, it couldn't be possible. The boy wasn't even _taught_! Yet here he was, flying like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Oh, big deal!" said Dudley, rolling his eyes. "Harry can fly on a broomstick well. So what?!" However, there was a hint of jealousy in his voice that no one but Petunia caught.

Petunia got up from the sofa. She put the book down on the table, and walked over to Dudley. Petunia hugged him. "Dudley," she whispered, kissing his forehead, "you are better than your cousin. Don't you ever forget that."

Am I really? Dudley couldn't help but wonder. The book showed nothing positive about him, after all.

"That's right," said Vernon, ruffling his son's blonde hair. "There's no way that boy is better than you, Dudley."

Marge nodded her head. "Don't listen to the negative things the book said about you, Dudley. You're better than that."

Ripper watched the family in silence. He wondered if there wasn't so much prejudice, hatred, bitterness, and bigotry, the Dursleys could have been a good family. What a sad thought.

Petunia let go of Dudley, and kissed his chubby cheek. She grabbed the book, and sat down on the sofa. She opened the book to where she left off and read.

 **xxx**

Take that Malfoy! Ripper thought, wagging his tail. Didn't expect Harry to fly so good did ya?

Dudley crossed his arms. Harry couldn't knock Malfoy off his broom even if he tried.

 **xxx**

Dudley frowned. Okay, so maybe Harry _could_ knock that Slytherin boy off his broom if he wanted to.

"That boy should get a detention or something," said Marge hopefully. "Maybe even whipped. Do they have whippings at Hogwarts?"

Petunia gave Marge a sideways glare, but the large woman didn't notice. She was sickening, but she was her husband's sister; Petunia had to put up with her. And yet I didn't say the same for Lily, she thought regretfully.

 **xxx**

Bullies were nothing without their backup, Ripper thought, looking at Dudley scornfully.

 **xxx**

"Impossible," Petunia's voice shook. "There's no way that boy could've done something like that!"

"And he didn't fall off his broom!" Marge replied in disappointment.

Vernon glared at the book in Petunia's hand. His mustache twitched angrily. Leave it to a book to show the Potter boy in a positive light. He was nothing but a burden, a waste of space. Why the hell does he have books written about _him_ in his perspective?

Dudley shook his head in denial. He was better than Harry, not the other way around. But there was a small part of him that doubted this.

Ripper wanted to howl in delight. Go Harry!

 **xxx**

"Good," Marge smiled triumphantly, "Harry is finally getting in trouble."

"Just goes to show he's not the perfect hero everyone believes he is," said Dudley happily.

 **xxx**

Come on, McGonagall, Ripper thought, whining. Hear them out; it wasn't Harry's fault.

Vernon smirked. "I always knew that boy was a troublemaker. They've figured it out. I wonder what punishments they have."

Petunia frowned. Lily had said something about how the students are punished at Hogwarts, but she can't remember what they were.

 **xxx**

"We wouldn't say anything," growled Vernon. "We'll just send him to the orphanage!"

"You've should've done that in the first place," Marge muttered angrily.

Petunia bit her lip nervously. However much she wanted to send Harry to an orphanage, they couldn't. Dumbledore's letter...the blood wards...the Dursleys couldn't kick the boy out of the house. Not until he comes of age.

 **xxx**

Dudley laughed at that thought of his cousin working for that giant fool, Hagrid. How humiliating!

 **xxx**

"Yes!" Marge cried cheerfully. "Beat the boy with a cane! He deserved it!"

And you deserve to have your mouth sewn with stitches, thought Ripper, glaring at his mistress furiously.

 **xxx**

Marge sighed in disappointment. Do they even use canes in that abnormal school?

 **xxx**

Dudley sniggered. He had an idea of what "rude words" Peeves was writing. He had done it with his gang at Smeltings, after all.

 **xxx**

Vernon wrinkled his nose. "Seeker? What's a Seeker?"

"I don't know," Petunia replied, scratching her head. "It must have something to do with that wizard sport, Quidditch."

 **xxx**

"Oh yeah, just reward the kid for breaking a rule," said Marge sarcastically. "What is wrong with the school?"

"What do you expect from a school for weirdos?" Vernon grunted.

 **xxx**

"Of course, he hadn't seen a game of Quidditch," Petunia snapped. _And neither have I_.

 **xxx**

"You mean scrawny!" Dudley blurted out. Why did Harry get all the fame and attention? He didn't deserve none of that; Dudley did!

 **xxx**

No wonder the Slytherin's got big egos, Ripper thought sadly. But then he got enthusiastic. Gryffindor will kick their arses on the Quidditch field with Harry on the team.

 **xxx**

"Oh, she's just telling the boy that so he can play better," said Marge cruelly. "His father was a good-for-nothing freak with no life. He didn't even had a job before he got killed!"

"He didn't even own a car," added Vernon. "Who doesn't own a car? Oh, wait. People who don't have any money, that's who."

"I can't fathom why Lily had married that ruffian, James," said Petunia in contempt. "She would had been off much better with a normal man." _And she would've still been alive_ , Petunia added to herself.

Dudley frowned. His parents never talked about his aunt and uncle (and he never thought about Harry's parents as his aunt and uncle). The only time they did was to tell Harry that they died in a car crash, which was a lie. Dudley began to think that his parents don't know anything about the Potters; his mother probably didn't knew her own sister after she found out she was a witch. Maybe Lily and James would have been really cool to get to know.

 **Xxx**

Ron forget about food? Ripper thought in amusement. I guess anything is impossible.

 **Xxx**

"Oh, so the boy thinks he's a star just because he got can play as the youngest Seeker for a stupid game?" Vernon scowled. "He was always seeking attention, the ungrateful boy."

 **Xxx**

"Of course, the Weasley twins would be on the Quidditch team," Dudley muttered, rolling his eyes. He wondered how many positions there are in the wizard game.

 **Xxx**

Marge looked confused. "Secret passageways? That school has secret passageways?"

"Well, it _is_ a castle," Petunia answered like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Dudley felt a twinge of jealousy at that. His school doesn't have any secret passageways.

 **Xxx**

Ugh, it's Malfoy and his goons again, Ripper thought in disgust. Why do they exist?

 **Xxx**

Dudley frowned. "The chapter is called 'The Midnight Duel', isn't it? Harry wouldn't dare take on that challenge, would he?"

"He doesn't know what a wizard's duel is," Vernon answered, crossing his arms. "It sounds like a fight or something."

Lily had talked about being in duels before, Petunia thought, looking at the book with narrow eyes.

"He can't even fight anyway," Marge said, smirking. "He's going to get his arse kicked."

Ripper frowned. Malfoy and Harry are only first years, back then. They couldn't do much damage to each other, anyway.

 **Xxx**

"You could die in wizard's duel?" Dudley asked, his eyes widened. That sounded...pretty exciting actually. He couldn't wait to read or hear about it.

"How barbaric!" said Vernon, huffing.

"I don't know," said Marge, grinning. "It sounds exciting. And bloody."

Petunia shuddered. She hated fights, especially bloody ones.

 **Xxx**

"Just punch the git," said Dudley simply.

 **xxx**

Dudley looked annoyed. He didn't want to share to think like a freak. However, for some reason, a part of him felt like that didn't sound too bad.

 **Xxx**

"'Couldn't help overhearing' my foot," growled Marge. That Granger girl was really getting on her nerves.

 **Xxx**

"Well, that was rude of them," said Petunia with a scowl on her face. It wasn't Hermione's business, but Harry and Ron didn't have to send her off like that.

 **Xxx**

"They'll get caught and get in trouble," said Dudley hopefully. Harry can't get away with breaking another rule. He may have gotten to be Seeker in Quidditch, but he'll get caught and get a detention or something.

 **Xxx**

"I admit," said Vernon reluctantly, "whoever wrote the book can write a setting."

Petunia nodded. "I can imagine all of it happening as though I was there."

Dudley and Marge agreed silently. Ripper twitched an ear to show his agreement, but nobody was paying attention to him, which was fine by him.

 **Xxx**

You have to admire Hermione for trying to stop the boys, Ripper thought.

"Why is she following them?" Marge hissed angrily. "It's none of her concern!"

"She's just worried about losing points for Gryffindor," said Vernon, rolling his eyes.

 **Xxx**

"I can't believe I'm agreeing with Potter!" Marge facepalmed. "That girl is interfering!"

 **Xxx**

"I told you," grunted Vernon, happy to see that he was right.

No one said you was wrong, Vernon, thought Ripper, rolling his eyes.

 **Xxx**

"Paintings shouldn't move like that!" Vernon growled. "That isn't normal at all!"

Normal is boring, Ripper thought, frustrated at the man. Who wants to be normal? Oh, the Dursleys.

 **Xxx**

"I have no words to describe Hermione," sighed Petunia.

"An annoying know-it-all," Marge offered, annoyed.

"Yes."

 **Xxx**

"What is Neville doing there?" Dudley asked, puzzled. "Wasn't he in the hospital wing?"

Petunia only shrugged, just as confused as her son.

 **Xxx**

"Oh," said Dudley, now knowing the reason Neville was out there.

"Of course Neville had forgotten the password," barked Marge. "Forgetful boy!"

 **Xxx**

"Wizards can heal their wounds faster than we can," Dudley said in amazement.

Even Vernon and Marge looked impressed. Petunia just sighed. If only she was born with magic...life really wasn't fair.

So their magic heals them way faster than a Muggle can, Ripper thought, wishing he can visit the magical world.

 **Xxx**

"Just leave the boy there," said Marge. "Ron and Harry already have the hissing know-it-all with them. They don't need an extra person with them, especially not a crybaby.

Ripper glared furiously at her. There wasn't a nice bone in her body. If anything, she's worse than Vernon.

 **Xxx**

Marge looked angry. Can't their luck just run out and get caught already? She was tired of them breaking the rules and never getting caught.

 **Xxx**

Ripper frowned. He had a feeling Malfoy wouldn't show up. But he wouldn't sink so low, would he?

 **Xxx**

Vernon narrowed his eyes. "To challenge a person and never showing up is a disgrace! And I thought Malfoy was like my Dudley!"

Marge scowled. "That's low."

Dudley really disliked Malfoy. Not even he would skip a challenge _he_ started.

 **Xxx**

"How did Filch know the kids were up?" Petunia asked with furrowed eyebrows. "Unless…"

"He did," said Vernon, looking furious. "Malfoy told Filch the boy and his friend would be out of bed that night."

Marge shook her head. "Who starts a challenge and not show up to it?"

I have no words for this kid, Ripper thought in disbelief. How could his parents raise him like that. Not even Dudley would do something like that.

"There wasn't even a duel," said Dudley angrily. "It was just an excuse to get Harry in trouble." He didn't know why he was so worked up about it. Maybe it was because not showing up to a challenge is a cowardly and unmanly move, according to his father.

 **Xxx**

As much as they were angry that Malfoy pulled a stunt like that, Marge, Dudley, and Vernon still hoped that Harry and his friends get caught.

 **Xxx**

"Neville is useless," Marge muttered scornfully.

 **Xxx**

Ripper's ears perked up. Maybe the kids will get something out of this fiasco.

 **Xxx**

"No time for 'I told you so', Hermione," said Dudley, shaking his head, amused and annoyed.

 **Xxx**

Vernon grumbled under his breath. He regretted even liking Malfoy.

 **Xxx**

"They have horrible luck running into that poltergeist like that," said Petunia. She didn't know whether to feel sorry for them or not.

 **Xxx**

"That idiot!" Vernon growled. "What was Ron thinking when he tried to do that to Peeves?"

"Nothing at all," answered Marge, chuckling.

He was desperate, Ripper thought, defending Ron. He was thinking of not getting caught by Filch!

 **Xxx**

"Were they always so dramatic," Petunia rolled her eyes.

Look who's talking, Ripper thought, shooting a look at Petunia.

 **Xxx**

I bet Harry and Ron were glad Hermione came with them, Ripper thought in amusement.

Marge groaned in disappointment. "They were going to get caught! Why did that girl had to ruin everything?"

 **Xxx**

"I don't believe it," Vernon smacked his hand on his forehead. "That thing didn't tell on them."

"I can't believe the kids didn't get caught yet," said Marge sadly.

And I can't believe Harry is having an exciting time at Hogwarts, Dudley thought in envy. While I'm in a boring, old school.

 **Xxx**

"What happened?" Dudley demanded excitedly. "Did they get caught?"

Petunia frowned. "I don't think so." A foreign feeling came over Petunia and that scared her. She was concerned for the boy.

"Those kids are in trouble now," said Marge, rubbing her hands together in glee.

 **Xxx**

"A dog?" Marge frowned. "But they are no dogs that can get that big."

Petunia gasped as she read ahead. Her eyes widened in horror.

"Petunia, what is it?" Vernon asked in concern. Petunia didn't answer and she read what caused her to be spooked.

 **Xxx**

Silence befell the Dursleys as they took in what Petunia had read.

"A-a dog with three heads?" Vernon spluttered in shock. "Th-that's not possible!"

"A Cerberus," Petunia gasped. She had turned as white as a sheet. "That beast is from Greek mythology! They're not supposed to exist!"

Dudley didn't know what to say. The fact that such a thing existed and Harry was seeing it face-to-face was astounding. But the fact that Harry could've gotten killed right then and there shook him to the core. He hated Harry, that's true, but he never wanted his cousin _dead_.

Marge looked just as shocked as the rest of them. She opened and closed her mouth; for once, speechless. She just settled for gaping at the book in Petunia's clutched hand.

Ripper whimpered. He wanted to meet other magical dogs if they existed in the wizarding world, but he didn't want to meet a three-headed dog!

 **Xxx**

"At least Harry's got his priorities in order," Dudley said, trying to lighten the family. Only Marge and Vernon gave a chuckle. Petunia didn't say anything, too busy looking at the book fearfully.

Ripper would have glared at Dudley if he wasn't so afraid for Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville.

 **Xxx**

"What is that _thing_ doing in a school?" Petunia shrieked.

Even Vernon couldn't answer her.

Ripper frowned. That Cerberus was in Hogwarts for a reason. He thought back to the package that Hagrid picked up. Could it be…?

 **Xxx**

Just running away from a monster dog, Ripper thought sarcastically.

 **Xxx**

"I asked that question too, Ron," said Petunia. " _What were they thinking?_ "

 **Xxx**

"Who would look at the floor with a three-headed dog right in front of them?" Dudley asked.

 **Xxx**

"This girl seriously didn't just say that," Marge facepalmed.

"Well, unlike her, I'd rather get expelled than killed," said Dudley, shaking his head.

"Priorities," Vernon said simply.

 **Xxx**

"The package!" Dudley shouted suddenly. "Whatever is in that package must be at Hogwarts guarded by a monster dog!"

"But that's dangerous!" Petunia said in shock. "Whoever tried to steal it could go to Hogwarts and attempt to steal it again."

"Petunia, Dumbledore is the headmaster at Hogwarts," said Vernon. "No one would even dare try to rob the school under his care." He didn't care about the whole magic business; he was trying to calm Petunia's nerve.

That seemed to calm Petunia down. She continued to read.

 **Xxx**

Petunia closed the book. "I am done. Who wants to read next?"

"I do!" Dudley grabbed the book. He was enjoying the mystery. He turned to the next chapter of the Sorcerer's Stone, and read.

* * *

 **There is a poll on my profile regarding a fanfic I'm writing. A Dog's Journey. Check it out if you want.**


	11. Halloween

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I wouldn't be writing on Fanfiction.**

* * *

Dudley couldn't wait to read the next chapter. After the events of the last chapter, he was excited and a bit jealous. His scrawny cousin was having mysterious adventures at a magical castle, and Dudley was stuck at a boarding school that pales in comparison to Hogwarts.

Enough of these thoughts, Dudley thought, shaking his head. Let's get on with the story.

 **xxx**

Dudley rolled his eyes. Malfoy was too much of a rat to show up at the duel _he_ started. What kind of bully does that?

"Well, they wouldn't be alive if that three-headed dog had eaten the kids," said Marge, grinning nastily.

Vernon grunted in agreement. He didn't care about the freaks. The less they are, the better.

 **Xxx**

"Troublemakers, the lot of them," growled Vernon. "Always seeking danger."

Petunia began to wonder what kind of adventures Lily had had at Hogwarts. She remembered telling her parents what she did, but she had tuned out. She regrets it now.

 **Xxx**

Harry and Ron are young detectives, Ripper thought in amusement. But he couldn't help but a little impressed by their way of thinking.

 **Xxx**

"Of course, Hermione and Neville wouldn't care," Petunia said in annoyance. "They don't want to die!"

 **Xxx**

"What is it?" asked Dudley curiously.

Read and find out, thought Ripper.

 **Xxx**

Petunia wrinkled her nose at the thought of _owls_ delivering the mail near the food. They can carry diseases!

 **Xxx**

That couldn't be his broomstick McGonagall promised Harry, Ripper thought in amazement.

 **xxx**

"McGonagall really did it," said Dudley in disbelief. "She really got Harry a broomstick."

Vernon glared at the book. He hated when Harry is happy. The boy deserves to be downtrodden, not treated as a golden boy!

 **Xxx**

Not these gits again, Ripper thought, exasperated. His ear twitched. He was happier with Malfoy and his bodyguards gone.

 **Xxx**

"Malfoy's right," said Marge, "first years aren't allowed broomstick, remember?" That means that Harry will finally get in trouble.

"Marge, McGonagall herself gave Harry the broom," Petunia said, looking at the woman. "He won't get in trouble for that."

Marge looked disappointed.

 **Xxx**

You tell that Malfoy brat, Ron! Ripper thought happily.

 **Xxx**

"Oh, that's right," said Vernon, his eyes gleaming, "the Weasleys are poor, aren't they?"

Marge chuckled. "Money is everything, after all."

No, it's not, Ripper thought. Money can't buy you happiness or true love.

 **Xxx**

Ripper would have laughed if he could. Serves him right, the pathetic bully!

"You have to admit," said Petunia, chuckling, "if it weren't for Malfoy, Harry would've never gotten the broomstick."

"How ironic," Vernon growled. "Instead of getting Harry in trouble, Malfoy had given him more attention than he deserves."

Marge huffed angrily at this. The boy was getting too much positivity in that weird school. It would've been so much better if he was sent to Stonewall.

 **Xxx**

"It isn't enough for Harry to have a broomstick," said Dudley enviously, "No, he has to be on the Gryffindor Quidditch team." Why did everything good happen to his pathetic cousin?

 **Xxx**

"I thought Hermione wasn't speaking to the boys?" Marge asked, confused.

 **Xxx**

"That's what I just asked!"

 **Xxx**

Harry will make an excellent Seeker, Ripper thought proudly.

 **Xxx**

"That _is_ a cool-looking broom," said Dudley, awestruck.

Lily had a broomstick, Petunia thought in envy and sadness. It wasn't as good as her son's, however.

Ripper couldn't wait for Harry to ride on it. He wondered what other sports wizards have other than Quidditch. Maybe a race on brooms?

 **Xxx**

"Hoops that were fifty feet high?" Vernon laughed. "What are they going to do, throw balls through them?"

Petunia shrugged. She didn't know anything about Quidditch, despite Lily's talk of the game.

 **Xxx**

Dudley wondered if magical broomsticks respond to normal people, so he can steal Harry's broom and ride on it. He sighed sadly as he doubted broomsticks will respond to a Muggle like him even if he said "Up!".

 **Xxx**

"The Potter boy will be terrible at the game," said Marge hopefully. "You mark my words."

You're going to eat your words, Marge, Ripper thought, looking at his mistress mischievously.

Finally they're going to talk about the rules, Dudley thought impatiently. He always wondered what Quidditch really was since it was first mentioned.

 **Xxx**

Try and say "Quaffle" five times fast, thought Ripper in amusement.

 **Xxx**

Marge sniggered at her brother. "Looks like you wouldn't be too bad of a Quidditch player yourself, Vernon, since you knew that."

Vernon looked disgusted at the thought. "I was joking about the freaks throwing balls through the hoops!"

Marge just laughed as he glared at her.

 **Xxx**

"Don't say any normal sports to Oliver, boy," Petunia said, rolling her eyes.

"Why?" Dudley asked curiously.

"They wouldn't know what basketball or any normal sport is," Petunia answered disdainfully.

 **Xxx**

"See?" Petunia said, pointing at the book. "They don't know."

 **Xxx**

"Why would Oliver give Harry a club?" Dudley asked, eyebrows furrowed. It wasn't like the balls would fly at him.

"I don't know, sweetums," Petunia replied, just as confused as her son.

 **Xxx**

Dudley's eyes widened. The Bludger wouldn't really _hurt_ Harry too badly, will it? Why was he concerned for his cousin all of a sudden? Dudley had hurt Harry plenty of times before he found out he was a wizard, so why did it bother him to hear him get injured?

"I hope it breaks Harry's nose," said Marge gleefully. "Or his jaw."

 **Xxx**

Petunia gasped dramatically. "That's dangerous! The Bludgers could seriously hurt them!"

"I don't know," Marge grinned. "It sounds exciting, actually."

Dudley agreed with his aunt. Quidditch did sound like an amazing game. He grudgingly admitted to himself that it might be better than boxing.

Ripper wasn't too worried about the injuries. They can just heal themselves easily with magic.

 **Xxx**

"I doubt they'll let the Bludgers kill the players," said Vernon dismissively. He was a bit disappointed at that.

Ripper agreed with Vernon, though he knew he could care less about magical folk.

 **Xxx**

Always the pessimistic bloke, Harry, Dudley thought, rolling his eyes.

 **Xxx**

"True," Petunia said, shuddering as she remembered what those Weasley devils did to her Duddikins.

 **Xxx**

"A ball with wings," said Marge scornfully. "What kind of ball is that?"

A ball from the wizarding world, Ripper thought as though it was the most obvious thing.

 **Xxx**

Dudley's eyes widened in disbelief. "Three whole months of playing Quidditch? How is that possible?" No sport has ever lasted that long.

Even Petunia, Vernon, and Marge looked interested.

 **Xxx**

Harry, you caught Neville's Remembrall, Ripper thought encouragingly. Don't worry; you'll do fine.

 **Xxx**

"There's no way that boy could catch the golf balls without missing one," Vernon growled.

"Right," said Marge, annoyed. "Harry can't be _that_ good."

Oh, but he was, Ripper thought happily.

 **Xxx**

"Why would _anyone_ \- no, any _freak_ \- want to get near a dragon?" Vernon asked, disgruntled.

Marge simply shrugged. "The weirdos don't have normal brains."

I would like to see a dragon, Dudley thought. He was still surprised that creatures like dragons and three-headed dogs existed in the magical world. He wondered how his cousin's world manage to stay hidden with beasts around.

 **Xxx**

"Privet Drive isn't the boy's home to begin with," scowled Vernon.

"And I ask again," Marge said, looking at Vernon accusingly, "why didn't you send the boy to an orphanage? It would've done us all some good."

"The wizards would've come after us if we had sent Harry there," Petunia answered quietly.

She felt a pang of shame. Had they really been so awful that Harry prefer to live at Hogwarts than at Privet Drive if given the chance? _Yes,_ Petunia thought as she remembered stuffing her nephew in the cupboard under the stairs, _we really are that bad._

Ripper felt a flash of hatred at the Dursleys. The pathetic family never gave Harry a reason to call boring Privet Drive home.

Dudley started to feel uncomfortable with the book's negative view on his family. Sure, they mistreated Harry, but any sane person would've done the same thing if they found out their family member was abnormal. Right?

 **Xxx**

Petunia's nose wrinkled in disgust at the thought of a toad flying around the room. Do they even know how much germs there are on toads? Or anything for that matter?

 **Xxx**

Uh, Oh, Ripper thought in amusement. Ron and Hermione partners? This can't end well.

 **Xxx**

"What the hell?" Marge asked with raised eyebrow. "A buffalo on a wizard's chest? Did he die after that?"

"Most likely," said Petunia, just as confused as Marge.

 **Xxx**

Dudley snorted at the imagine of Harry putting a fire out with his pointed hat.

 **Xxx**

"Annoying little know-it-all," said Vernon, rolling his eyes. "Always think she's right."

 **Xxx**

"Who wouldn't be in a bad mood with Hermione around?" Dudley said, smirking.

"I wouldn't last a second if I had to listen to the girl's rambling on about books," said Marge, laughing.

 **Xxx**

Petunia frowned. "Hermione heard him, didn't she?"

"Good," smirked Marge, "no one care about her, anyway."

 **Xxx**

Ripper glared at the book in Dudley's hands. Ron, he thought angrily, you insensitive prick!

"Of course, she doesn't have friends," Vernon said, throwing his hands in the air, "who would want to be friends with an infuriating person?"

 **Xxx**

Hermione skipped class, Ripper thought, feeling sorry for the girl. She must really had been hurting.

 **Xxx**

"How do the wizards celebrate Halloween?" Dudley asked suddenly curious. "Do they go trick-or-treating or something?"

Petunia shrugged. Then she shuddered to imagine a bunch of kids dressed in wizard getup. Who knew how many real wizards are out in the open at Halloween night mixed with normal people?

 **Xxx**

"They actually got live bats in the school?" Petunia asked, her eyes wide. "Near the food? Do they know many diseases bats can carry?"

"Right you are, Petunia," Vernon agreed. "The freaks are dirty themselves."

That's pretty cool! Dudley thought in excitement. On Halloween at Smeltings, the only bats he ever saw were fake.

 **Xxx**

"What is it?" said Marge, sounding very interested. "What's got Quirrell in such a scare?" She frowned. "Then again, he's always scared of something, even his own shadow."

"Probably something stupid," Vernon grunted, "like that poltergeist causing trouble."

Ripper tensed. There was something off about the man from his stutter to his weird turban.

 **Xxx**

"There's a troll in the school?" Petunia cried in horror.

Even Vernon looked shocked. "First a Cerberus and now a troll? What in the world is up with Hogwarts?"

Marge gawked at the book. "An effing troll? Creatures are practically skipping into Hogwarts. What's next, a dragon?"

Dudley's eyes were wide in shock and horror. "Harry better not go after it," he whispered fearfully, not wanting to read about his cousin's death. Then he remembered the event took place three years ago. It didn't erase the fact that Harry could've got seriously hurt.

Ripper was alarmed. How did the troll get into the castle? Who or what let it in? Something wasn't adding up.

 **Xxx**

"Leave it to Percy to let everyone know of his position in a time like that," said Dudley darkly.

 **Xxx**

"Maybe you're right, Vernon," said Marge in surprise. "Peeves is nothing but trouble."

"I doubt it," said Petunia. "Peeves may be a troublemaker, but he wouldn't dare do something that'll endanger the children."

Petunia is right, thought Ripper. If Peeves didn't do it, then who let the troll in…?

 **Xxx**

"What about Hermione?" asked Marge harshly.

"She doesn't know about the troll!" Petunia gasped.

"But the troll is in the dungeons," said Dudley, "and Hermione is in the girl's bathroom. There's no way it can reach her."

"So she's safe," Vernon said uncaringly.

At least go and warn her of the creature, Ripper thought, concerned.

 **Xxx**

"What's Snape doing there?" Dudley blinked in confusion. "Shouldn't he be with the other teachers?"

"I don't know," Petunia answered. "Maybe he's checking on something?"

"Or maybe," said Marge gleefully, "he let the troll in."

That is a possibility, Ripper thought, narrowing his eyes. Considering he's on my suspect list.

 **Xxx**

"That's where the three-headed beast is," said Vernon. "Why is Snape heading to the third floor?"

"I'm telling you," Marge replied with a grin on her face, "Snape is the criminal."

Petunia shrugged. "He could be." Snape was a foul boy back then. She always knew he was trouble, especially when Lily had suddenly stopped talking to him for a reason she never knew.

 **Xxx**

Petunia gagged at the description of the foul smell. Is that what trolls smell like?

 **Xxx**

Petunia whimpered. What a horrible creature.

Dudley gasped in horror. " _That's_ what a troll really looks like?" Normal people were wrong about trolls as well.

"I thought it was in the dungeons," said Vernon, his face drained of color.

Marge paled. "It was. M-Maybe the t-troll found its way around the c-c-castle."

Ripper put his paws over his eyes and whimpered. The magical world is full of dangerous beasts, isn't it?

 **Xxx**

"There," sighed Dudley, "the troll is locked in a room. Problem solved, I guess."

Why do I get the feeling it isn't going to be as easy as that? Ripper wondered wearily.

 **Xxx**

"Oh, no," said Petunia quietly. "The troll is in the _girls' bathroom!_ "

"Hermione is in there!" Dudley yelled in shock.

Marge's lips turned into a sickening grin. "This will be fun."

"Let's see what Harry and Ron will do," said Vernon, enjoying this.

 **Xxx**

The troll's going to hurt Hermione! Ripper thought panically. Distract it or something!

 **Xxx**

Yes, Marge thought in delight, get the boy! Hit him with the club!

 **Xxx**

"Now isn't the time to freeze, Hermione," said Vernon disdainfully.

Oh, leave her alone! Ripper thought, glaring at Vernon. How would you feel if a troll was in front of you?

 **Xxx**

The Dursleys were silent as they process what Harry had done. They looked at each other in surprise and - shockingly - awe.

"Harry just shove his wand up a _troll's_ nose," said Dudley awestruck.

He always wondered why Harry wasn't afraid of him anymore after his first year at Hogwarts. Dudley suspected that it was because he can do magic, but now he knew why: Harry had faced bigger things that paled in comparison to a simple bully like Dudley. He can threaten Harry with the most painful beating, but his cousin wouldn't be fazed in the slightest.

"And at the age of eleven," Petunia said softly. Why didn't he tell me? Petunia thought sadly.

 _Because you never gave him a chance, never got to know him,_ said a voice in her head. _Like you've never done for Lily._ Guilt and shame ripped through Petunia's heart. If only she'd swallowed her pride and apologize to Lily all those years. She wouldn't be in this mess she had done that in the first place.

Marge and Vernon were in shock. They never knew the boy was brave. To them, he was just a scrawny, good-for-nothing, orphan with no value. But the book showed Harry in a different light: He was incredibly brave, standing up for himself and his friends, and even fighting a troll to save another. It wasn't enough to make Vernon and Marge change their opinion of the boy, but a grudging respect for Harry was enough.

Ripper wagged his tail happily. He knew Harry was courageous, but not _that_ courageous. A brave boy raised by a family of bullying cowards. Ripper really wanted to see Harry again. He isn't sure if that's possible, but he can try.

 **Xxx**

Marge grinned nastily, hoping Harry would get hit and get injured. She may have a grudging respect for the boy, but she still hated the orphan, and wouldn't care if he got hurt.

 **Xxx**

"Ron says a spell that he couldn't even do?" Vernon snorted. "Like that will work!"

 **Xxx**

Vernon looked at the book in disbelief. "That actually worked?"

"Not only that," said Petunia, "they managed to knock the troll out."

Ripper wanted to howl in triumph, but kept his mouth shut. He just settled for wagging his tail.

"Wow," Dudley said impressed.

Marge crossed her arms and huffed. However impressing that feat was, it was still disappointing to see the kids walking out of the troll fight unscathed.

 **Xxx**

"And now Hermione speaks," grumbled Vernon.

 **Xxx**

Petunia's face turned a bit green at the thought of boogers from a revolting troll.

 **Xxx**

"Uh, oh," whispered Dudley, "they're in for it, now."

"But Harry and Ron just saved Hermione's life," said Petunia worryingly. "Surely, they won't get in trouble."

"But, Petunia, they're supposed to be in the dormitories," answered Marge. "The kids will be in trouble for sure." Finally, some punishment for Harry.

 **Xxx**

Points? Ripper thought, shaking his head. You almost just got killed by a troll and you're worried about winning points for Gryffindor. Harry, you need to get your priorities in order.

 **Xxx**

"I told you so," said Marge in a singsong voice. "They're supposed to be safe in their dormitory. They're going to get punished!"

Vernon smirked. The kids were far too lucky to have made it without getting caught, for his liking.

 **Xxx**

"I can't believe Hermione lied to a teacher!" said Dudley, laughing. "I guess anything really is possible."

"Granted, Harry and Ron saved her life," Petunia said. "It's only fair for her to get herself in trouble rather than let her saviors get the punishment."

 **Xxx**

That part is true, Ripper thought, the troll was about to kill her when Harry and Ron came.

 **Xxx**

Dudley laughed at the imagine of Snape randomly handing out sweets to the students.

 **Xxx**

"Just ten points? That's it?" Dudley asked, a little angry. "They've could've gotten more than that."

"Five, Dudley," said Vernon gruffly. "She took five points from Hermione."

"Oh."

 **Xxx**

She also might not have needed saving if you hadn't hurt her feelings, Ron, Ripper thought, disgruntled.

 **Xxx**

"That's the end," said Dudley, closing the book. "What an exciting chapter!"

"Yeah, I guess it was," grumbled Vernon, grudgingly.

"We should eat first before we read the next one," Petunia suggested, going to the kitchen.


End file.
